I'm from Connecticut. A perhaps little known fact about Connecticut is that everything is cold. It's not just the 0climate; so are the people. Very often, you can walk past dozens of people, some of whom you know, and not even acknowledge them with so much as a glance.
This is not, however, the case at the University. Many times while I am walking around Grounds, people that I don't know smile and say "hi." This was quite a shock for an introverted Northerner like myself. I had no idea the Virginian climate warmed more than just the atmosphere.
Toward the end of my senior year, I started to worry about heading off to college. I wondered what would happen to me - over 500 miles from home. Would I make lots of friends? Or would I only have only a few close friends? That is, of course, if I could find people like me in the first place.
Summer orientation didn't quell any of my fears; it, in fact, created new ones. I met great people and had a lot of fun, but I was repeatedly worried by an out-of-staters' revelation: Not only were a majority of the kids I talked to from Virginia, they also claimed to know at least five or 10 others coming to U.Va. from their high school.
"Uh-oh," I thought, "these students were taking their clothes, their computers, and half of their friends with them to college." What was a guy like me to do? I'm the only one from my graduating class who came to the University. I wasn't going to know anybody on Grounds. How was I going to adjust to my new environment with my family and friends five hundred fifty plus miles away? How could I work my way into groups of friends that have known each other for years already?
A summer of dread came to a head on one fateful day, August 26, 2000 - Move-in Day. Within moments of meeting my roommate and my suitemates, I realized I was living with a great bunch of friendly guys. We got to know each other well; over that week of orientation programs, we became tight. My New England indifference was quickly replaced by a genuine interest in other people. Throughout the year, we became very close with a suite of girls who lived a floor beneath us. While all of us were forming friendships, a thought occurred to me - something I didn't consider before I arrived at school - U.Va. is a truly extraordinary place. Each person who is here is unique and special in at least one way. We are the best of the best, the elite. Each of us has excelled both in and out of the classroom. And when we are initially tossed together as a first-year class, we are like a chemist's concoction: Some people react right away, others don't. But we all swirl around and find friends without much effort. It's natural.
We all have some quality that sets us apart from the rest. You may have lived in another country, or you could be exceptionally talented at video games. It doesn't matter what it is, we each have our own. My advice to incoming first years is to really talk to as many people as you can, especially in the first month or two, and learn about what makes each different from the rest. If you make a genuine effort at this, I guarantee you will make many friends, some of which will become lifelong comrades.
When you arrive here next fall, don't worry like I did about meeting people. The University is a big place with lots of students eager to meet new people as well. Don't be shy; go out and introduce yourself. Take the initiative. I promise you you won't regret it. If you sit back and do nothing, you will get nothing. We reap what we sow.
Then there are those of you who are reading this that are returning to the University. Your first years are over. Many of you may have done exactly what I recommended to the incoming first years. Many of you, like me, did not take complete advantage of those first few months in our college careers. To those that fall into the latter category, I encourage you to try again. Try to meet as many new people as you can and find what makes them special.
Don't needlessly worry about starting school in the fall. Remember that you are all unique. Meet as many people as you want and find out what makes them unique. College can be the best time of your life if you let it, so let it.
(Scott Killian is a Cavalier Daily columnist. He can be reached at skillian@cavalierdaily.com.)
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