HOW SAD it is when women trade in their pedestal in order to become the butt of men's jokes." This quote, spoken by modern - and unconventional - feminist Wendy Shalit in her book A Return To Modesty, may seem absurd and ungrounded in our age of "liberated," independent women. However, when examined more carefully, this statement proves unsettlingly pertinent to our time and to the University.
Growing up in the post-modern world where political correctness reigns king, we have been taught to believe that to even insinuate that there is any difference between the sexes is at once ignorant and a moral atrocity. The notion that our girls should be raised to be strong and independent is wonderful. But, perhaps owing to the fact that these traits are stereotypically male, somewhere along the way the misconception arose that we should raise our daughters to be men.
Of course, we don't like to say this, but oftentimes women have different traits and values than men, and we are now taught that female emotion and compassion are weaknesses to be overcome. Thus, by disregarding these female characteristics and focusing only on the value of male traits, our modern definition of feminism becomes itself sexist. In America, where our society is profit driven and efficiency based, this mentality is especially prevalent.
One of the most notable manifestations of the difference between men and women is their sexual attitudes, and it is here that the daughters of the feminist movement run into the most trouble. Despite what many would have you believe, most women view sex as more about intimacy, while men more often view sex as about, well ... sex. This puts women in an obviously vulnerable position, but before "independence" got so inextricably mixed up with indifference to intimacy, women's feelings were respected. Today however, modesty and emotion have come to be associated with weakness, and in a society that despises weakness as the greatest evil, women find themselves forced to compromise their feelings and pretend to be the "independent" women that our society (somewhat reservedly) glorifies.
This arrangement has left more than one woman feeling de-valued and conflicted. Maybe she lived in your suite or on your hall first year, maybe she is one of your good friends, or maybe these words strike a chord with you yourself, but we all know at least one of "those girls." You know, the type that go out to Rugby on the weekends and get really drunk so that they can hook up with guys they don't really know, or who "casually date" (all sex - no commitment) and then get upset when they get used. They put up a tough facade, but the truth is more then evident: They don't want these hook ups, they want boyfriends, and in a society that teaches men that they don't have to respect women, women don't know how else to go about finding a relationship.
It is pitifully ironic that a movement devoted to the betterment of women has gotten so off track that it actually undermines many of the interests of those it is trying to protect. In many ways, women are as much under the control of men as they have ever been, but the difference now is that women can take control and be truly equal as they are, not by trying to act like pseudo-men. We need to show the world that strength and femininity are not mutually exclusive, and we need to realize that we do not ever need to compromise our feelings or feel that they are not justified. Women around the University and everywhere else often complain that men do not treat them with due respect. But what they fail to recognize is that when women begin to demand the respect they deserve, men will have no choice but to give it to them.
In his influential work, The Communist Manifesto, Karl Marx spoke of the theory of dialectic materialism. This theory asserts that all things exist first in their original state, or their thesis. In this case, we can consider that thesis to be the long held belief that only men are capable of doing work outside the home. Eventually, Marx says, the antithesis of this mentality will arise in response to the harshness of the thesis. We can view the antithesis as the modern notion that men and women are - or ideally should be - exactly the same.
Finally, in response to the lessons of both the thesis and the antithesis, the final state, or moderate synthesis, will form. The role of our generation in the feminist movement is to bring about this synthesis. Through our actions we need to show the world that women can be equal in their differences from men.
The next time you head out to Rugby Road, class or anywhere else, remember that femininity does not equal weakness, that women do not need to apologize for who they are. Only by doing this can we begin to modify the exclusively male foundations from which we define all things in our society, and until this is done, there can be no hope for true equality.
(Laura Parcells is a Cavalier Daily columnist. She can be reached at lparcells@cavalierdaily.com.)
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