LIFE GOES on. It must go on, and that's not something Amer-icans should feel guilty about. Most Americans didn't know any of the people who were killed and injured. But in thinking about what happened Tuesday, we still felt sad, sick or angry, even after we turned the TV off.
In an event of this magnitude, our sympathy for victims of these cruel events and our realization of the threat posed to our national sense of well being naturally brings on another type of grieving for the intangible things we have lost, like our sense of safety as Americans. These reactions are natural.
But in the last week Americans seem to have gone beyond simple mourning into feelings of overwhelming guilt about the wonderful things that we still have in our lives. After the first couple days of shock, we still continued to cancel social, political and academic events so that we wouldn't feel guilty about leaving our TV sets.
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Many psychologists have related this feeling to survivors' guilt, the feeling normally experienced by those who survive a traumatic event while those very close to them die. Therapists are now seeing similar reactions in people experiencing the events on TVs halfway across the country, which is unusual ("Across the U.S., Guilt is Felt over Continuing with Daily Life," Wall Street Journal, Sept. 17).
Right now we're very conscious that in the midst of life, we are in death, but we forget the corollary, that in the face of death, we still live. There were people rightfully celebrating the birth of their children this week, and weddings went on across the country as scheduled. One pastor celebrating a wedding last weekend acknowledged the guilt the couple probably felt, but then told them it was good to be happy, because "it's a sign of hope, and we need those."
For those not directly affected by what happened last week, it's time to move on with the rituals of everyday life. Even though the financial community suffered heavy loss of life, probably more than any sector, the New York Stock Exchange was open for business Monday. Indeed, almost immediately after this disaster, the financial community buried itself in discussions of when this powerful symbol of American business could reopen.
Some of this eagerness to carry on had to do with the desire to show the terrorists that America was still standing. But it's also probable that many of those who didn't die felt relieved to be working again, to go on with life like the rest of the world. It's an undeniable fact that living is therapeutic. Those who lost family members obviously will grieve in some ways for a long time. We can't change that, and that is nothing to be ashamed of.
Instead of feeling guilty, we need to live life so that those touched personally by this tragedy have something to look forward to, a light at the end of the tunnel of grief. When they need a sympathetic ear we should be there, but at other times we need to present images of a normal world, where people gather for some other purpose besides gawking at scenes of disaster. Coming together for traditional American rituals like sporting events is important to bringing back normal life, even if it's difficult.
A good way to start getting back into everyday life is to consider how much we have to be thankful for, as strange as that sounds. Though horrible events occurred, so many horrible things that could have happened afterward didn't happen.
Many countries come to a standstill after an event where 5,000 people die. But even in New York, at ground zero, there were no looting mobs running in the streets. Instead, this country came together to give blood and fly the American flag. The banks didn't collapse, and the grocery stores stayed stocked. Although we were torn apart emotionally, the infrastructure of this country stayed intact.
Indeed, the fact that this country could take the time to grieve is something to appreciate. Because our physical needs were taken care of, we could take care of our souls. In many parts of the world, there is no time to grieve because people live too close to the line of survival. For them, grieving is a luxury they can't afford. We, on the other hand, can attend funerals and memorial services as a way to prepare to move on.
Americans whose lives have been changed, but not shattered, by the violence of last Tuesday don't need to feel guilty about their good fortune. Instead, we should try to bring something good out of this horrendous event by appreciating the richness and beauty that exists in our lives and outnumbers the bad.
(Elizabeth Managan's column appears Wednesdays in The Cavalier Daily. She can be reached at emanagan@cavalierdaily.com.)
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