CYNICS often trash Christmas as a stressful, consumerist holiday that probably was invented by Hallmark and Sears. They note the decreasing religious imagery as a sign that the holiday is losing whatever meaning it originally had. For many Christians, Frosty the Snowman and Santa Claus poorly replace Jesus in the manger and the Three Wise Men.
Personally, I love the non-religious aspects of Christmas. Not the rush at the malls, or the bad music, or the e-mails that say "Too Much Debt from the Holidays? Sell Us Your Home!" And I really hate starting the season any time before December; I want to have Halloween and Thanksgiving without the tinsel and holly, please. But I like living on candy and fudge during finals, buying gifts, getting Christmas cards, being with my family, and seeing trees and lights and even the tackiest decorations.
A less cliched complaint than "Christmas is too commercial" is the objection to the wastefulness of the holidays. We send and receive so many things that we don't want, much less need, and this feels particularly wrong right now. Americans are becoming more aware of the deprivations suffered both within our country and on the other side of the world. With each image of poverty, gross excess begins to look more disgusting. Fortunately, we can celebrate the holidays with family and friends in ways that also are conscious of those who live outside our usual network of caring.
Begin with the most loved and hated aspect of Christmas: gift-giving. The delight of presenting something you know will be greatly appreciated. The frustration of being unable to find anything worthwhile that the receiver doesn't already have.
Donating in the name of a loved one can be a great way to solve the latter problem. Don't just give to whatever the "hot" charity of the moment is; America already has done well by the families of emergency personnel from the terrorist attacks. Other groups, however, are suffering a drain in resources. Moreover, a donation made as a gift should be as personalized as a wrapped item would have been.
These presents can be very individual. For the reader on your list, if you've never been able to find a good book that she hasn't already read, send copies of her favorite children's books to a book drive or library. She'll know that a new generation can enjoy them. Donate needed supplies to the local playhouse, with the family theater buff's name on them. Give Alpo to an animal shelter in the name of a dog lover.
Although we should recognize the needs of people far away from us, there are certain benefits to giving locally. Proximate charity means lower overheard - more money going directly to the cause - and a closer view of the results.
This applies as well to purchasing gifts that actually go to someone you know. Buying locally is a fine idea, and you should try to support businesses owned by people in your area to keep your community economically vibrant. After all, these are the same people you and your peers were asking for jobs during high school and college.
At the same time, don't go overboard in the wish to spread peace on Earth and goodwill toward men through your wallet. Buy things you or others genuinely want. For example, you may live in a place where beanie angels and ceramic pelicans are the major output of local artisans. Don't feel obligated to support the further production of rubbish. Similarly, watch for stores that promise to donate some amount from each purchase you make to charity.
First, check to see that it's a group not already well-funded. Secondly, do the calculations to ensure that the store isn't turning a profit by their do-gooder appeal. Items that give 50 cents to a charity shouldn't cost twice as much as comparable ones that give nothing.
When you encounter some dead time in the holiday chaos, consider adding volunteering to the usual routine of eat-sleep-shop. You could start new holiday traditions for your family by spending time at soup kitchens, nursing homes and other places where just your time will be appreciated. These can be good activities for the younger crowd, too. Have young relatives pick out small toys to donate to pediatric units at hospitals. They might have an easier time coming to terms with the non-existence of a supernatural Santa by playing the role in real life.
Perhaps the most important task we can set ourselves for the holidays is the one that seems easiest: being kind in our daily lives. Caring for ourselves, and those around us, is something to which we should give our attention.
Kindness to others comes through courtesy to the many strangers who bump into us, through smiles for the people who serve and whom we serve, and through generous patience for our families. We can treat ourselves a little better by eating healthily, drinking less, spending more quiet time with people we love.
The year 2001, with its memorable triumphs and tragedies, and forgettable trivialities, soon draws to a close. Be happy with what you do with its ending.
(Pallavi Guniganti is a Cavalier Daily columnist. She can be reached at pguniganti@cavalierdaily.com.)