Singer/songwriter Skott Freedman knew there was something wrong with sexual labels when he found himself hiding his straight pornography from his college boyfriend. Freedman had identified himself as gay, and now he felt compelled to conceal his attraction for women from his friends.
A turning point came after he learned about bisexual oppression in a college course. He came out a second time, this time as a bisexual. Freedman now lectures around the country on combating what he calls "biphobia."
Freedman spoke in Rouss Hall last night to around 30 students. He discussed his experiences as a bisexual in the gay community, and the importance of not dividing sexuality into two precise categories - gay and straight.
"Sexuality is not black and white," he said. "It's more fluid and abstract than something you can hold in your hand."
Freedman said that sometimes he is attracted to women, sometimes to men, and sometimes to nobody at all. Labeling someone as having one specific sexual orientation can be restrictive and can cause bisexuals to feel alienated and repressed, he added.
After Freedman came out as gay when he was 18, he still felt like he had to hide things about himself. For instance, although he and his boyfriend could lightheartedly point out cute males on the street, he could not comfortably point out an attractive girl.
"I went from one closet in the heterosexual community to another closet in the homosexual community," Freedman said.
When Freedman came out as bisexual, he said he received negative reactions from homosexuals as well as from heterosexuals. Homosexuals told him he was just confused, or that he was "riding the fence," and needed to make a decision about what kind of people he liked.
He said they spitefully told him he was "lucky" that he could marry a girl and lead a normal life.
He added that some heterosexuals were skeptical because they thought that having at least one homosexual experience meant he was gay, and any relationship with a girl was just a cover-up.
Freedman stressed to the audience that sexuality is complex. Even bisexuals are not alike, some date more people of the same sex, while some date more members of the opposite sex.
"There are not only three orientations," he added. Freedman encouraged audience members to keep an open mind, and to resist making assumptions about people's sexuality.
Matt Pecori, president of the University Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Union and third-year College student, said that although biphobia probably exists at the University, it is not more prevalent or more rare here than it is anywhere else.
"U.Va. students are pretty progressive about sexuality issues," Pecori said.
Second-year College student Luke Ward said he was glad people expressed interest in the issue. But he added he wasn't sure if biphobia is as much of a problem as Freedman claimed it was.
Freedman's speech was sponsored by the University's LGBTU as well as the University's LGBT Resource Center.
Freedman has given similar speeches at the University of Pennsylvania, Kansas University, Michigan State University and Virginia Tech.
Freedman previously chaired the Central New York LGBT Conference.
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