Ah, the Grammys. Every year the music awards show prompts a number of questions: What's the difference between Record of the Year and Song of the Year? Just who votes for these things anyway? How can you determine if a song is "better" than another? Who are all these people? Where am I?
Sadly, none of these questions can be answered. One thing is certain, however. The 2002 Grammy Awards will be a night jam-packed with overdressed, overpaid pop stars thanking God for providing them with such an understanding record company, interspersed with standing ovations and, if we're lucky, the rare brilliant performance and/or witty, brief acceptance speech. This will all be forgotten in a matter of weeks as pre-2003 Grammy hype kicks into high gear.
So, without further ado, here are my divinations for some of the more interesting categories on Grammy night. What kind of authority do I have, you ask? Well, none; what's your point?
Let's start with Best Rock Album, if only for the reason that it probably won't go to the deserving artist. This year's competition is tough, including Aerosmith, Ryan Adams, PJ Harvey and Linkin Park, but for sheer popularity, no one can beat U2.
U2 aside, Best Rock Album should go to Harvey for the masterful songcraft of "Stories From the City, Stories From the Sea." Harvey is already a rock goddess in the U.K. and deserves similar recognition stateside.
On to Song of the Year and Record of the Year, two categories that beg the question: Does anyone really care about the single song awards? Last year, U2 rendered the question moot by cleaning up with the very worthy "Beautiful Day." Neither of the band's nominees this year, "Stuck in a Moment You Can't Get Out Of" and "Walk On," has quite the same comeback-single glow.
For Record of the Year, I'd put my money on Alicia Keys's "Fallin'." There hasn't been a gem on the radio this soulful since Lauryn Hill's "Ex-Factor," and audiences had been hurting for it. Look for Keys also to pick up Best New Artist, losing perhaps to Aaliyah for Best R&B Album.
Song of the Year, or the songwriter's award, should go to U2 for the chiming gospel number, "Stuck in a Moment." No other song in this category, like "Drops of Jupiter," "Fallin'," Nelly Furtado's "I'm Like a Bird" or India.Arie's "Video" has even a sliver of "Stuck in a Moment's" weight.
By far the most mixed category is Best Male Pop Vocal Performances, with nominations from Craig David, Elton John, Michael Jackson, Brian McKnight and James Taylor.
McKnight and David may split the R&B vote, while John and Taylor may divide the older voters, leaving Jackson's "You Rock My World." It seems an appropriate winner, I suppose. Jackson got shut out of many of the other categories with his comeback effort, so winning this one may be something of a consolation prize.
The biggie, of course, is Album of the Year. The nominees are U2, Bob Dylan's "Love and Theft," India.Arie's "Acoustic Soul," Outkast's "Stankonia" and the soundtrack to "O Brother, Where Art Thou?" These are all fantastic albums, but the race is only between U2 and Outkast.
Why not the others? Dylan won in 1997 with "Time Out of Mind." India.Arie is a relative unknown. The nomination of "O Brother, Where Art Thou?" doesn't really make any sense.
It would be easy to write off Outkast as the token rap nominee. But "Stankonia" outstripped "All That You Can't Leave Behind" in sales, and people might be eager to see a rap album win for once.
But if there's anything that Grammy loves more than surprises (Steely Dan for Best Album last year?!), however, it's rewarding old favorites (Steely Dan for Best Album last year?!). With that in mind, I'd say it would be an upset if U2 didn't win.
This seems like a lot of U2 to take in just one night, a lot of Bono's usual profound-yet-baffling pontification at the podium. Luckily for us, typically silent guitarist the Edge has taken to piping up at awards shows, and to generally humorous results. At the 1988 Grammys he announced he was "still recovering from Whitney Houston" and then proceeded to thank, among others, Gregory Peck, John the Baptist and Batman and Robin.
At last year's Grammys, Edge thanked the female orgasmatron.
So at least one thing will be unpredictable at this year's Grammy Awards - what will the Edge thank next?
Read More
The best albums of 2014
By Noah Zeidman | December 4, 2014Across genres, it has been a pretty great year in music.
Top 10 movies of 2014
December 4, 2014This has been an excellent year for film, offering everything from gripping blockbusters to innovative personal films.
Iggy Azalea is “Reclassified”
December 4, 2014It has become common practice among music artists to repackage their albums in an effort to simultaneously boost single sales and dish out new content by slightly renaming the album or slapping “Deluxe” onto the title.
