And I wanted to believe
That I'd get caught up
When the range in me subsides"
- from "Silence," by Sarah McLachlan
I remember us sitting in the red futon listening to Sarah McLachlan. I listened to the same song yesterday. Silence does not sound the same. 4B is not the same. Charlottesville is not the same. Litko, nothing feels the same without you.
I was reading the speech for you last Saturday in front of a big audience in the chapel. If you were watching me, you would probably be proud of me. For the first time in my life, I was able to speak without my hand shaking. For the first time, something outweighed my anxiety to speak in public.
This feeling I have inside is a mixture of sadness, anger, guilt, responsibility and uncertainty. Every night, when I close my eyes, I see you right beside me in the car leaning towards the front, your chin touching your chest. Liana, I see this same image over and over because that was the last time I saw you. Remember how I was able to sense bad happenings - I could not sense this.
My dear Litko, you would tell me that I was your only true friend and that you could see us in our seventies as two crazy mothers. Now I realize you were also my only real friend.
- Elvin Altun, third-year College student
I don't want to talk about the accident and the ones involved in it that much. I just know that Elvin and I should not blame ourselves for anything. Some things just happen. We have no control over many things in this world.
I don't remember much about the event. I was unconscious. I just remember that Elvin and I, we tried to get her out of the car, and that we were shouting at her to wake up. Then, they told us that she was breathing and they took us away. We tried helping her but some other power, stronger than us, did not let us help her. That power took her away from us.
I believe that there are reasons for everything happening in this world whether we know them or not. Life is serious; we should take it seriously. We must appreciate every second of our lives because we never know what tomorrow will bring. I just wish that I could learn these from a better experience.
I think there is not much to say about such an experience. We don't know much about life and how it is shaped. We will probably never know.
I just know that we should never keep anything for future, because we may never have a future.
If you wanna do something then do it, if you wanna go somewhere then go, if you wanna kiss someone then kiss, if you wanna learn something then learn, if you wanna play something then play, if you love someone then say so.
Don't be scared of living your life deeply and fully.
Liana, I hope you are happy wherever you are.
God bless you.
- Dilara Baydar, fourth-year College student
"Helllllo darlings, I'm sorry I'm so late!!" she would exclaim as she burst through the door. "You would never believe what happened..."
And we would forget her tardiness as she captivated us with some story. Liana's life was full of energy and passion; she lived every day as if it were her last. I remember quite clearly a conversation we'd had only weeks ago, when she was giving me advice.
"Honey, you have to go for it. You never know what will happen - you have to at least try. Then you'll know if it's right or wrong for you and you won't regret anything."
It was mature advice for someone who had lived little more than two decades. Even though this snapshot into her life does not even begin to do her justice, it makes me proud to write it. I have only known her for three short years, but she has left me with memories that I will never forget.
- Jasmine Jinivizian, third-year College student
How will I remember Liana.
I will remember her like the sun that shines upon us every day, that even in the shadow you can get a glimpse of its brightness and a touch of its warmth.
I will remember her like the moon lighting up the night, I will remember her like the stars shining majestically before our eyes.
This is the way she touched my life and all those around her who knew her.
She may not be physically here with us anymore but she will live forever in our memories and in our hearts, until we meet again someday.
So until then, my darling LiLi, I will think about you every day as the sun rises and sets, and then again at night when I gaze at the moon and the stars shining brightly, like you did, upon all of us.
- Sylvana Gonzalez, 2001 Commerce graduate
Woman!
You have filled us all with your wonderful spirit and for that we will always be grateful. Your passionate energy will always run free and not to worry, your crazy imaginative theories will never be forgotten. You have touched me in an inexplicable way that will forever remain unchanged.
Thank you for some of the most amazing moments I will ever have.
I love you!
- Lauren Miller, fourth-year College student
LIANA (li'ya'na) A unique melange of the most beautiful characteristics of life, such as passion, trust, laughter, spontaneity, determination, beauty, sincerity, imagination, excitement, happiness, comfort, joy, intelligence, humor, rhythm, art, music and love that will shine and guide us forever.
- Alberto Grimme, fourth-year College student
Photos courtesy friends of Liana Kuyumciyan
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