You coward. Your name remains unknown, mostly because you are the coward that called in a bomb threat - maybe to get out of your ENLT 382 exam. Or maybe you're the coward who thought that idea was so bright, you'd use it to get out of your midterms only days later. Whoever you are, your immaturity, lack of judgment, cowardice and stupidity are disgusting.
How courageous and selfless of you to think of your classmates studying hard to take their exams and get them out of mind before Spring Break. How thoughtful of you to prioritize your cowering over getting a "C" on your midterm ahead of the hundreds with the different fear that, if break passes before they take exams, they'll forget the material. Whatever your name is doesn't quite matter. When you're apprehended, you should rename yourself Callous. It would have to fit you better than the name you currently possess.
The University community only can thank its administrators for taking measures to reverse the effects of your pansyism. It's unfortunate that classes need to double-book rooms to accommodate your lack of backbone. It's unfortunate that those alternate locations have to remain secret because you probably have such flimsy moral character you'd call in a threat to that location too, if it might spare you an extra few hours sleeping in your bed. God forbid you don't ace an exam. Who would want to feel secure at their school or take their exams and get the education they paid for? Certainly not if it might come at the cost of a sullied transcript for you. How selfish of the rest of us to want those basic securities, when a poor, unfortunate, depraved person like you was not prepared to take his exam.
Whoever you are, you are incredibly inconsiderate. It doesn't really matter who you are though because as soon as you're apprehended, you ought to make your last name Pansy because it must fit better than whatever name you have now.
Callous Pansy probably thinks only of the alleged good he has done. He probably thinks he spared all his classmates the same exam, even though most students would be upset that their exam is cancelled and then rescheduled for a time when they're less prepared. Pansy probably also thinks about all the people he's employed over the past few weeks: policemen, firefighters, administrators in special meetings, professors putting in extra hours to accommodate their students, students delaying Spring Break plans to study harder. Pansy must feel courageous because he diverted law enforcement from maintaining a presence to spending several empty hours looking for nothing. He must feel especially proud of the fact that University students now feel they're the targets of terrorism, stripping the community of its freedom from fear. You must feel so special.
Maybe you should make a second call to the police and tell them all about your recent accomplishments. You'll probably get just the sort of recognition you deserve. And a new name.
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