I am in the debt of the state of Virginia. This past Saturday morning, at 8:30 a.m., I had the exhilarating opportunity to attend a driver improvement clinic in a luxurious conference room of the Holiday Inn on Route 29. To be fair, I must admit that at first I didn't see it as an opportunity, per se. I foolishly thought of it more as an act of compliance with a threat of violence made against me by the Department of Motor Vehicles. "Take this class or we, the government by the people and for the people, may very well physically arrest you and incarcerate you next time you try to drive your car down the street," was the message I got at first. But after eight hours of sitting in a rigid chair listening to a man tell me not to drive too fast, I now realize I was wrong. The bureaucracy of the DMV actually did know what was best for me!
My first lesson came almost immediately upon my arrival at the clinic. "The law is stupid, class," our instructor told us as we blinked the sleep out of our eyes, "but it's the law." I instantly took the lesson to heart: It does not behoove one to ask why he is following a certain law. It doesn't matter whether the law actually benefits the citizens who live under it; what's important is that if you don't follow it, the government will punish you swiftly and without hesitation.
I now see that a theory like this works out well both for me and for legislators. I can stop bothering myself with all the questions that come to mind and the resentment I usually feel when people tell me what to do, and the lawmakers lose all the stress that comes from worrying about what types of laws they should make. Whatever statutes they decide to enact, no matter how stupid, will still be the law. It's a beautiful system.
It really is a good thing I understood this new way of thinking so early on, too, or I might have had problems with the clinic all day long.
I might have been wary in the past when the clinic instructor put on a road rage video that included cameos from George Bush the elder and Jerry Seinfeld. I might have put my guard up when the video narrator told me that I had to replace my old beliefs about driving with new ones, and that the key to safe driving was to remember a simple slogan: Instead of trying to make good time, make time good! A helpful exercise, the narrator continued, would be to make flash cards with old driving attitudes on the back, and new ones on the front. Now why didn't I think of that?
If some of the methods of driver improvement the clinic employed sound a little less than effective, rest assured that all of us in attendance had to pass a test at the end of the day to ensure that we had all become safe drivers. The instruction had been so effective that even the guy who didn't understand English and had spent the day sitting wide-eyed in the back of the room passed the test. Never mind that everyone graded his or her own exam. The Holiday Inn was close enough to Grounds that it basked safely in the warm reflected glow of the University's honor system. And besides, what possible motivation could there be for someone to cheat in order to prevent having his license revoked? Oops, sorry. That was a question.
Words can't express how much my new "question nothing" credo has helped me in life. Before, it used to irk me that I was sentenced to driver improvement school for my first speeding ticket, before which I had never been involved in an accident or cited for any traffic violation. It would have bothered me in the past that none of the information presented to me on Saturday even remotely helped me improve my driving, and that too few people know about court-imposed driving school for the impositions to act as deterrents against speedy driving.
But I have been enlightened, and now I understand. The law is stupid, wahoos, but it's the law. No questions, please.
(Anthony Dick is a Cavalier Daily associate editor.He can be reached at adick@cavalierdaily.com.)
Read More
KURTZWEIL: Threats to learning cannot be met with cowardice
By Paul Kurtzweil | 4 days agoResisting an unjust system should be at the forefront of university policy.
CASTAGNO: Closing the Federal Executive Institute fails local residents
By Conall Costagno | 5 days agoThe unwilling departure of the FEI from Charlottesville represents the severing of a constructive accord between the government and the University.
COHEN: Facing federal cuts, U.Va. must defend affordability
By Ryan Cohen | April 3, 2025In this uncertain environment, the University must act creatively and strategically to ensure it can maintain its commitment to affordability.
