If you're into retro decor and gimmicky-theme restaurants, by all means, visit the Hardware Store. But if you prefer good food and prompt service, any of Charlottesville's other eateries is a better choice.
Located on the Downtown Mall, the Hardware Store is an inexplicably popular destination for both students and Charlottesville residents.
It quickly becomes obvious that this establishment is more interested in the atmosphere than in the food.
Tragically, the atmosphere is lousy as well.
Patrons have to pass through a store full of candy and other assorted trinkets before reaching the indoors dining area, which consists of two levels of tightly bunched booths and tables.
Luckily, diners have the option of eating outside on the Mall on warmer days.
The walls are lined with what appears to be the aftereffects of a flea market explosion. Glass cases on the walls contain various unrelated artifacts from unidentifiable time periods.
The condiments arrive in holders resembling old wooden toolboxes. The effect of these disparate elements is not to invoke nostalgia for the good old days -- when American blue-collar labor built an industrial powerhouse out of the wilderness -- but instead to confuse the patron and instill a vague sense that in some indefinable past era, things were done and products were manufactured.
We're really not sure to what specific sense the designers were trying to appeal.
The food doesn't make up for the appalling lack of style.
While the Hardware Store does have the virtue of a large and diverse menu, we could find no evidence that the majority of it was any good.
The menu offers a variety of appetizers and salads. Small salads start at $3.95 for the bare essentials. A variety of large salads are also available. A Classic Caesar Salad runs $7.75, while the elaborate Nicoise Salad ($9.75) with tuna, olives, eggs, tomato, onion, potato, green beans and sliced tomatoes could easily be substituted as a main course.
The baked potato menu is quite extensive as well.
A Simple Simon with cheddar runs $5.95, while the Nicolo's Notion with seafood and Swiss cheese filling costs $8.50 -- if you're willing to try a potato that contains seafood.
Boswell's Bonanza ($8.50) contains roast beef, onions and cheddar. The Hardware Store also offers a number of quiches in the $8 range.
The appetizers were mediocre at best.
The artichoke, spinach and cheese dip ($5.50) tasted more like white bread soaked in milk and mashed up, while the accompanying chips were the same cheap, over-salted kind you can get at the grocery store. The onion rings, served around a giant nail, were decent, but not worth the $4. Other appetizer options include the chicken and cheese quesadillas ($6.50) and several nacho dishes.
If you fail to heed our warning and do decide to eat here, the burger menu probably is your best bet. A plain beef burger will cost you $5.25 and a bleu cheese burger $6.75. For the more adventurous, you can try the Guacamole Swiss Burger ($6.75) or Big Al's Chicago Burger ($7.25 with pastrami and grilled onions).
Unfortunately, our burger came from the kitchen lukewarm and dry. After the appetizers, we weren't surprised.
The Hardware Store offers entrees such as Chesapeake crabcakes ($19.75), pork chops ($14.95) and baby back ribs ($15.50). A nice feature about the entrees is that they come with a bottomless salad bowl and trips to the pickle bar.
The pickle bar offers assorted breads, pickles and spreads. The entrees are rather expensive, so we recommend that you go with the sandwich menu, which covers two pages of both hot and cold dishes. Served with chips and access to the pickle bar, a sandwich is your most economical choice.
The Hardware Store offers pretty much every sandwich you could think of, but you'll have to wade through the unhelpful names of the dishes to find out what you're ordering.
Corned beef and pastrami ($7.45) is called the Lewis and Clark, while the Peter Jefferson ($7.25) is just turkey, ham and Swiss. Hot sandwiches include the Cuban sandwich ($7.25) and the Red Baron Melt ($8.95), an open-faced sandwich with corned beef, knockwurst, kraut and Swiss. The one hot sandwich we ordered came out cold, so stick with the cold sandwiches.
Dessert is the Hardware Store's one redeeming quality.
The menu offers many ice cream dishes served with fruit, nuts and just about anything else you can imagine. The Wahoo ($5.75) consists of orange sherbet and blueberries covered in whipped cream and nuts, while the Igloo for Two ($10.95) contains chocolate, butter pecan, vanilla and strawberry ice cream.
The cakes and pies are also quite good, whether you order the aptly-named Chocolate Suicide Cake ($4.15) or the more reasonable carrot cake ($3.25). The service was poor. Our drinks were often empty and the wait staff was slow and unresponsive.
You'll likely receive better service at any of Charlottesville's fine McDonald's franchises. The Downtown Mall offers a variety of better dining options.
We recommend you eat elsewhere and then drop by the Hardware Store for dessert. Otherwise, unless you're attracted to old dry goods stores disguised as sub-par restaurants, we recommend you avoid the Hardware Store.
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