Last week, "60 Minutes" commentator Andy Rooney made a remark on the Madison Square Garden Network's "The Boomer Esiason Show" that deserves to be addressed.
When discussing television coverage of NFL games, Rooney said, "The only thing that really bugs me is those damn women they have down on the sidelines
a woman has no business being down there trying to make some comment about a football game."
I couldn't believe my ears.
Those women are part of the reason I'm glued to my couch every Sunday, and more importantly, Monday nights.
If you want proof that Rooney is dead wrong in his assessment, look no further than ABC sideline reporter and University alumna Melissa Stark.
For those of you unfortunate enough to be unfamiliar with her, allow me to fill you in. Melissa Stark is a sideline reporter for ABC's Monday Night Football program -- she interviews coaches and players during breaks, she relays injury information and she's jaw-droppingly gorgeous. She is the lone reason I put up with Dennis Miller for the past two NFL seasons. I've loved her since her first broadcast, which saw the St. Louis Rams defeat the Denver Broncos in 2000. She interviewed several players before the opening kickoff, and lo, football fans across America got religion.
You first years may remember her from the honor video you saw during Orientation.
That video was shot on Grounds last spring, and I know it was destiny that propelled me to meet her that fateful Thursday afternoon.
I remember the day well. It must have been 90 degrees outside, and despite wearing an entirely black outfit, Melissa maintained a flawless sense of professionalism.
She wasn't sweating in that heat -- she was glistening. Around 5 p.m., after a long day of shooting, she was sweet enough to humor a crazed fan like me. She and I talked for a while, which was mostly me saying, "I love you" repeatedly, and her saying, "Thank you."
And before leaving, she even took a picture with me, so I could have an eternal reminder of that treasured moment.
What a find for ABC, though.
Never before have I seen such a beautiful woman with such a keen understanding of the game of football. The babe factor alone immediately makes her girlfriend material, but consider the coolness factor.
Here's a woman who understands that you're not going to go shopping with her on Sundays. Instead, she'll probably be sitting next to you on your living room couch, watching the game, slapping you high-fives and helping you yell at the TV.
It's this coolness factor that elevates her to wife material.
As a man, what else could I ask for? If she makes a good meatloaf
Melissa Stark is the complete package.
Other networks feature many Melissa-wannabes, but she's in a class all her own. Bonnie Bernstein, her CBS counterpart, tries valiantly to emulate Melissa's charm and charisma, but the magic and star-presence just isn't there. Don't get me wrong, Bonnie Bernstein hardly is chopped liver. She's pretty sharp herself, mastering everything from blitz packages to quarterbacking mechanics.
Like Melissa, she's pretty cute, so she's popular among NFL fans.
To raise money for the Sept. 11 terrorist attack relief effort, radio deejays "Don and Mike" gave her a ride from the airport, then let listeners sniff the car seat she rode in, $5 a pop.
Now let me tell you, a Nissan Altima never smelled so good, but Bonnie still doesn't hold a candle to Melissa.
Just like Suzy Kolber, Pam Oliver and Jill Arrington, Bonnie always will be the bridesmaid, never the bride.
Until, of course, Melissa retires (heaven forbid).
Thankfully, that day is a long way away. For now, we can get our Melissa fix by tuning in to ABC 17 Mondays and various Sundays for any playoff or preseason games she covers.
For the Internet-savvy, Melissa answers weekly fan mail on ESPN.com, in a feature aptly titled, "Melissa's Mailbag."
Despite what Andy Rooney says, Melissa Stark deserves to be on the sidelines, showcasing her sparkling smile and offering her astute insights.
Monday nights just wouldn't be the same without my beautiful shining Stark.
Read More
Diabetes Link connects condition to community
By Charley Thomas | 10 hours agoAs its presence on Grounds grows, Diabetes Link hopes to connect more people to resources for the condition and provide a network of members passionate about awareness.
Top 10 reasons to stop dreading midterms
By Elizabeth Parsons | 2 days agoI have survived plenty of my own rough exam days during my four years at the University, and it is a relief to report that one exam tells only a small piece of a much larger story
Sophia Crowder empowers women in STEM to pursue out-of-this-world ambitions
By Charley Thomas | 4 days agoGender representation — it’s not rocket science, right?
