Through the turning of the leaves here on Grounds may be beautiful, the coming winds can be cold and brutal. We opt for the indoors instead of the outdoors, and for the company of a few others rather than the company of many. A good number of us as students feel the need to be close to someone in particular, and far too often in these cold and busy months, we attach ourselves to the nearest, warmest body.
With the winter often comes the establishment of new relationships, many of which are founded on the fact that we spend much of our time inside. Coupled with the fact that we are in close quarters with close friends, growing friendships can often times turn into something more.
But before we "boo" up with just anyone or anybody, we should think about the change in the environment, and how it is affecting us. We should be as certain about who we choose to weather these next few winter months with as we are about the season's change.
In no other situation, but here at college, are there so many young people who are looking for something or somebody to belong to. At the University, the options are plenty and we see avenue after avenue open for us to fulfill desires and pursue interests. From week to week, we're all indecisive about what we will commit to doing, how we will spend our Friday night and who we'll holla at over the weekend. If we're not in committed relationships already, at some point this winter many of us will be searching for someone worthwhile to spend our time with. As winter arrives, and the blistering cold, prevailing winds and inevitable snowfall approach, we'll all be looking to settle into something more comfortable -- even if it's only for the time being.
Though it's true that we should get to know as many people as possible and establish significant relationships throughout our college years, it can often be very difficult for us to pick and choose who we should spend our time with. In the winter we seek consistency, not variety. Coming in from the cold, the activities we engage in are held mostly indoors, or require the body heat of others. Even if we decided to go skiing or snowboarding, we'd ultimately want to come in from the cold, and cozy up by a fire. With the addition of everyone around us pairing up, the idea of having a significant other can be both appealing and a pressure situation.
Time can pass and there is the possibility that we may find ourselves by ourselves, where loneliness can set in and alter our mood in a number of different ways. Studies show that wintertime can lead to serious sadness for some college students, and we might begin to reject our friends or others who are in relationships. Many of us trek home for the comfort and safety of our families, while some of us grow attached to others here or even throw ourselves entirely into our schoolwork. Many of us buckle under the pressure, and we end up establishing relationships with people we really don't want to be with.
Still, we shouldn't enter into relationships that are frivolous or settle for booty calls because of this need to feel needed. Though it is cold, we can't sell ourselves short to someone who doesn't care about us as much as we care about them. With so many young people in such close quarters so frequently, intimate relationships are common, emotions run high and the most awesome and dangerous truth is that sexual activity is as common as a kiss. We should be wary, protective and truly evaluate our feelings before we invest into something heavy and serious.
Spending that many months with someone can lead to a significant connection that lasts well beyond college, or it can be a complete waste of time. Unlike the raw magnetism and attraction leading us into the summer, our relationships in the fall should be founded on depth and consistency. We're not out at the beach or at a huge party meeting and greeting new people -- we're in the comfort of dorm rooms or apartments, getting close to people whom we could truly start to care for. As we approach this coming winter we shouldn't simply settle for our instinctual, primordial needs; we should invest in significant relationships where we feel at least some genuine connection to the person we cuddle up next to.
The pros of winter love can include companionship during final exams, constant friendship when you come in from the cold or the rain, and if you do it right, gifts at the holidays. Just the same, the time spent in the winter can be valuable and can be worth much more than material goods.
So before we go out and pair up with that somebody we'll share our intimate winter with, let's all be cautious about the season and let our reasons be genuine and not fueled by everyone around us coupling up or settling in. There could be nothing worse than weathering a stormy winter due to a hasty decision.
(Kazz Alexander Pinkard's column appears Mondays in The Cavalier Daily. He can be reached at kpinkard@cavalierdaily.com.)
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