Looking for a lewdly-shaped cake pan, some boob straws or that long sought-after dildo? Take a drive down Route 29 and turn into Ultimate Bliss, Charlottesville's only adult store, next to the KFC.
The entrance is crammed with kinky lingerie and other less scandalous items, such as lubricants and condoms, creating what manager Paul Weber calls "a buffer zone," should any unsuspecting families wander in.
The well-lit rooms are monitored by Weber himself or by video surveillance. Weber said he monitors the store to make sure customers feel comfortable. "If you're a female and somebody says something to you out of the way, that person will be tossed immediately," he said.
If customers stomach the buffer zone, they are free to browse the collection of dildos, dongs, vibrators, harnesses, sex dolls and the like. For the middle-schooler in all of us, Ultimate Bliss stocks a selection of great party favors. The phallic-shaped cookie cutters, the breast-shaped candles and the complete bachelorette party package may break the tension for first time shoppers.
A quick trip downstairs leads to a room devoted entirely to the art of film. According to Weber, while women tend to purchase more toys than other items, men often head for the videos.
Weber also said that Ultimate Bliss sells more DVDs than videos. With a collection including "My Baby Got Back 27" and "Carpet Burns," there are few fetishes left unturned.
Weber claimed he could not disclose what the most popular item was, but he did admit that it was not lingerie. Second-year College student Kim Osagie, director of "The Vagina Monologues," confessed that her favorite product had to be the "many foot-long dildo, all veiny and lined." Osagie said she wondered who would ever buy such a thing.
Another potentially controversial aspect of Ultimate Bliss is the rumored secret back room. Weber laughed off the suggestion, and explained that there is in fact an apartment on the ground floor. It is occupied only when the owner visits once a week to work on weekends, and the bathroom serves as a fitting room for lingerie. Weber did admit, however, that the backroom is a feature of many porn stores in North Carolina.
Ultimate Bliss is not the first store owner Greg Sakas and his cousin have opened. Weber said that Sakas, who is based in North Carolina, owns three other
adult stores. The move to Charlottesville was prompted by the city's sore lack of an adult store, Weber said. Neither Sakas nor his cousin were available for comment.
Weber said customer comments have confirmed Charlottesville's need for such a store.
"'It is about time' -- I hear that hundreds and hundreds of times," Weber said.
Still relatively young, Ultimate Bliss has already built up a large clientele. As many as 300 to 400 people walk through the door in a day, and with only one other employee, Weber has a lot of work on his hands.
Still, not all customers are completely satisfied.
"We have to recognize that [the merchandise] is pretty heterosexual," Osagie said. She admitted, however that "it is a sex shop that is appropriate in its place. It's all Charlottesville can handle."
Indeed, Ultimate Bliss' arrival prompted a flurry of debates over city ordinance laws.
Previously, Charlottesville had very few rules governing the content of retailers. Charlottesville City Attorney General Lisa Kelly explained that this may change in the future.
"We have not had a major overhaul of city ordinances in about 30 years," Kelly said.
A drafted set of new ordinances establishes where new stores can open, dictating that "No adult use may be established within 1000 feet of a residentially zoned district or property used as a residence regardless of zoning, or a school, educational institution, religious institution, public park, playground, playfield or day care center."
In addition, adult use establishments cannot open within 1000 feet of another adult business, which the city claims is a measure designed to prevent the development of a red light district.
Kelly insisted that "this is a pretty standard approach for cities that have these types of ordinances."
The first step in the ordinance overhaul was to define what constitutes "adult use."
This is what makes zoning ordinances fun reading: Terms such as "discernibly turgid" and "below a point immediately above the top of the areola" help define what non-adult stores cannot peddle.
With this new, more rigid ordinance proposal on the table, Ultimate Bliss may be without competitors for quite some time.
The recent unexpected closing of Wild Wing Café has encouraged rumors that a Hooters or some similar establishment may take the old train station space. As long as the servers wear tops and bottoms and do not expose any of the "specified anatomical areas," the zoning ordinances do not outright ban that type of organization.
Ultimate Bliss would have been unable to open under the new laws, but the store will be allowed to remain due to a grandfather clause, which protects it from legislation passed after it opened.
With surprisingly late hours, and a hesitant recommendation from Osagie -- "it was an interesting experience" -- Ultimate Bliss may be a place to check out during that pre-midterm procrastination period. However, Weber warned, "make damn sure you've got your I.D." if you want to get past the all-too-friendly buffer zone.
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