If this University is so good, why is it that 90 percent of the people here have no idea how to walk? Hey, schmuck, don't stop in the middle of the sidewalk to talk to your schmuck friends. This is not a Sunday stroll in the freaking park. Some of us have a class to get to, so just start moving your legs at a reasonable pace or move into the street, where I hope you get hit by a dirty outdated UTS bus.
-- Get out the way
Hey, Cav Daily -- it's my 22nd birthday and I'm just wondering why men are such assholes. You would think a guy would be nice -- I dated a guy for three years and he didn't even call on my birthday. Here's my friend ... You know what? Cav Daily sucks. You'll probably reject everything I just said. This school doesn't know how to park in the snow. Number one, if you don't have 4-wheel drive, don't even drive. And if you do have 4-wheel drive, maybe you can drive, but maybe you can learn to park your car.
-- Party Girls
There's a girl on my hall, and she eats really weird food. One day we all walk into the bathroom and there is a squash in the sink! A squash! She had filled up the sink with water and plugged it, so there's just squash spurting out into the sink. It looked disgusting. It looked like puke. I just don't know what she's thinking. Somebody's going to have to clean that up. That's gross. People need to learn some manners.
-- Squeamish about squash
We just wanted to say good luck to all of the track team this weekend at their big meet, and we love Kevin and Devon and E.C. They are the best people in the whole world and we love them so much.
-- Number one fans