It finally happened. It took a few nights, but it happened. There I was, hanging out by the door as a party at my place died down last week. On her way out the door, a cute girl walks up to me, puts her arms around me, and whispers in my ear, "I just wanted to let you know that you're the hottest guy here tonight, and I told myself I had to meet you." That was all the confirmation I needed -- the "Axe Effect" was working.
Yes, I am one of the many who have given in to creative marketing and bought Axe Deodorant Bodyspray. I've been using it for the past three weeks, and although it took a while, I'm finally starting to get the results I've been seeking.
If you aren't familiar with Axe, that's probably because it's a pretty recent phenomenon. Axe is a body deodorant for men that comes in a fairly ordinary-looking spray can. But according to the advertising, Axe contains a little something extra -- it makes you irresistible to women. When the ladies get one whiff of your intoxicating scent, they'll be on you like a pack of ravenous wolves. That's the "Axe Effect." There's even a warning on the spray can -- "CAUTION: Habitual use of Axe could lead to seriously close encounters." It's a risk I boldly take every day.
The commercial that convinced me to try Axe also probably gets the most air time. It begins with a good looking guy running into an elevator, apparently late for work. While in the elevator he quickly dresses himself, and sprays Axe across his chest. He gets off on the next floor, the same time a short, dorky fellow gets on. I immediately identified with the little guy. It was like looking one year into the future and seeing myself.
On the next floor, a beautiful, tall young woman joins him on the elevator. As soon as the doors close, the lingering scent of Axe begins to arouse the young woman. She begins running her hand along her neck and sending seductive looks to her shorter counterpart. Surely, she isn't becoming hot for this little chump, is she? My friend, you underestimate the power of the Axe Effect!
When she can no longer take it, she pushes the emergency stop button on the elevator, grabs her little man and makes sweet elevator love to him. And our little friend has the lingering scent of Axe to thank for his seriously close encounter. In case you didn't know, every man wants to lose his elevator virginity before he dies. Why do you think Aerosmith's "Love in an Elevator" shot up the charts the way it did, 15 years ago? The Axe marketing personnel are brilliant for capitalizing on that untapped market.
The deodorant's one shortcoming is that it doesn't offer much in terms of long-lasting protection. I find myself having to reapply it a couple of times a day. As good as I smell when I leave home in the morning, you can bet that after an afternoon of classes I am too self-conscious to lift my arms. Sadly, there's no warning on the can about those situations.
This past weekend, things got really ugly as I was driving a few of my friends home. At one point, one of them covered her nose with her hands, saying, "Oh gross, there must be a skunk outside!" As my face turned bright red, all I could manage was, "Yeah ... a skunk ... they're a smelly breed."
Perhaps one day they'll develop a longer-lasting version to suit my "special" needs. Actually, such a product might be already in the works. Over in Europe, Axe has an entire line of bathroom products available. Axe Shower Gel is one I'll definitely try if it makes its way to the States. But then again, I'd probably buy Axe Dental Floss if they decided to start producing that.
Until that merchandise hits the market, America will have to make due with the deodorant spray and its six available scents. My personal recommendation would be Phoenix, although Apollo is not without its charm. Phoenix just gives off the easygoing, guy-next-door effect I'm looking for. So if you're a guy, go ahead and give Axe a shot, because you won't be disappointed. And if you're a girl, you can find me in Cabell Hall's West wing elevator.
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