Can someone please tell me what's the deal with those people who come to class only to fall asleep five minutes into the lecture? They always sit next to me! If you ask me, if you're going to nap, just stay home so the rest of us don't have to hear you snoring! And the professor doesn't even take attendance, so you really have no excuse to be that rude to the people you're distracting.
-- Sleepless in C-ville.
I would like to share a long-cherished childhood dream which was brutally shattered my senior year of high school. I have always been a great lover of Bram Stoker's Dracula, and so it naturally followed that I myself aspired to be a Count. This was all fine and good -- I even went so far as to research any available countesses in my neighborhood. Then, one tragic day in Mr. Higglebottom's government class, I chanced upon a rogue phrase of the United States constitution, which stipulates that no American can hold a title of royalty. Oh the pain, the anguish! But all is not lost. I propose that U.Va. organize a grassroots campaign to pass an amendment allowing for such titles. I hereby christen this campaign the Illegitimate Royalty Coalition (IRC). There is hope -- these fragments I have shored against my ruin.
-- Counting the days
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