If you are thinking about going to see "Cold Creek Manor," don't. If you, like I was, are fooled by the previews into thinking that this film looks exciting and frightening, or even just entertaining, please allow me to pull the wool off of your eyes. Despite a decent cast and a setting for a potential great scary movie, this movie flops -- big time.
"Cold Creek Manor" begins with the Tilson family living in downtown New York City. There is the successful businesswoman mother, Leah (Sharon Stone), the documentary filmmaker husband, Cooper (Dennis Quaid) and their two adolescent children Kristen (Kristen Stewart, "Panic Room") and Jesse (Ryan Wilson). After Jesse is hit by a car in the heavy New York traffic, the family decides to move out to the country.
The Tilsons decide to purchase Cold Creek Manor, a dilapidated but beautiful country mansion. Along with the house and grounds, they purchase all of the belongings inside the house, including family photographs of the previous owners, the Massies.
Everything is going well for the Tilsons until Dale Massie (Stephen Dorff), the man who lost his house to the bank and went to prison, shows up in their home. Dale requests a job from the Tilsons, offering to help with the restorations on the mansion and grounds. The Tilsons reluctantly agree to the arrangement.
As soon as Dale begins to work for them, strange things begin happening to the Tilsons. One morning their house is completely infested with snakes. After a confrontation in the local bar between Dale and Cooper, Kristen's pony ends up dead in the pool.
Cooper suspects Dale from the beginning and insists that his family move back to the city while he investigates. I won't tell you what he discovers, although if you see the film, it is completely predictable. I will leave one surprise for those of you still determined to see this movie.
I think that "Cold Creek Manor" could have been a good movie. The actors are well-cast, especially Stephen Dorff, who is very adept at playing extremely creepy characters. Plus, Christopher Plummer makes a cameo. The setting is perfect for a scary movie -- an old, huge house with hundreds of acres of wilderness around it. Granted, it's been done, but certain things are always scary. Add a crazy man with a chip on his shoulder and a bone to pick, and you've got yourself a pretty frightening flick.
Unfortunately, the formula failed. This movie is not only not scary, it isn't even entertaining. If I hadn't had to write this review, I probably would have gotten up and left halfway through. Here are just a few of the reasons this movie is awful (in no particular order):
Number one: The script.The script is absolutely terrible. The dialogue seems forced and unnatural. The conversations between characters are tedious and make the audience uncomfortable; there is no redeeming feature in this aspect of the film.
Number two: The score. The soundtrack is incredibly cheesy. Background music is crucial for a good scary movie. This music takes an already bad film and makes it worse.
Number three: The action. The problem with the action is, basically, that there is none. Overall, the movie is about an hour and 45 minutes of dull conversation and fifteen minutes of action. For a good scary movie, there needs to be suspense. The audience needs to be provided with clues and be left and wondering about what is going to happen, dreading the potential outcome. This movie takes suspense too far -- the audience is given too little to think about for too long, and instead of sitting on the edge of their seats chewing their fingernails, they fall asleep.
Last, but not least, number four: No twists. If you see the movie, you can predict everything that happens. Good scary movies fool the audience, or at least surprise them from time to time. This movie does neither. When the action finally starts and the dull conversation ends, you already know everything there is to know.
In conclusion, let me reiterate: do NOT under any circumstances see this movie. If you are determined to watch it, at least wait until it comes out on video so you can save a few dollars and, more importantly, push the stop button when you realize just how terrible it is.
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