It was one of those days where I didn't get enough sleep; I, in all my inexperienced, Texas stupidity, was underdressed for the fall weather, hadn't eaten since breakfast and after four straight hours of class was on my way to my 6 o'clock discussion. Trudging all the way from the Art History building (more affectionately known as Upper Rugby) to Cabell Hall, I ran into a friend whose face was glowing -- no joke, one tint less of the glow you would see from the very face of God himself. I knew instantly -- she was in love.
She proceeded to tell me that a while ago her boyfriend flew across the country and then drove six hours, in to the path of a hurricane no less, to surprise her. (Note: I do not tell this story in order to make every single girl jealous, but more in hopes that any young man who reads this might take the hint: Do this kind of thing and you're golden).
Here I was, thinking I was crazy, strutting down Rugby in a formal gown and heels, without a rain jacket (another remnant of Texas tradition), during Isabel. Nevertheless, just as there always is someone cuter, there always is someone crazier.
So, as I walked away toward the dungeon that the administration calls a building, I couldn't help but think (because I think on love way too much) how lucky she is:
Almost all of we singles assume -- or remember -- how great those first few months were with the person or persons we loved, and those of us in a steady (often thought of as romance-less) relationship look back on those days with a sense of nostalgia and longing.
There also are some who are unaffected and who can stop reading now, because this column is for those of us, male and female, who love to be in love.
Regardless of the status we currently hold in the relationship world, all of us know and are bombarded with the truism that love is a wonderful, powerful, life changing emotion. Given our age and potential experience, we also know those feelings eventually fade away, and if that change leaves us single or part of a different type of commitment, the memory still remains, often creeping back into our minds and tugging at our hearts.
So as I walked down the Lawn deep in thought about the past loves I had experienced, the fall breeze showered me with leaves and froze my bare legs. All of the sudden, I began to long for Christmas. Maybe it's because I'm spoiled and am still the first kid up on Christmas morning, waking my little brother to make him alert the house of gift time. Or maybe I should give myself a little more credit and say I desire the excitement and joy of the season.
It was then, piecing these two thoughts together, that I realized the Holiday Season is a lot like the time of falling in love. Everything seems happier, and nothing really gets anyone down, even though it's freezing cold and shopping and traffic are miserable. Regardless, no one seems to care and keeps operating on the hope of what Christmas morning will bring.
Then the big day comes and, if you are anything like me, you are the first one awake, scanning the tree to see if "that" box is there with your name on it. More likely than not, we rush through the morning to get to the good stuff, and pretty soon all we have is a big mess and nothing to do.
In reality, though, that moment is the one where the real holiday begins; it's the piece of the day that has been blocked out for loved ones and food -- my two joys in life.
This moment, like the one we all encounter when our falling in to love has found us in it, is what all that time, excitement and joy are about.
Being in love can be amazing. You have butterflies in your stomach by simple gestures, words or thoughts; you lose sleep in contemplation of the lucky one; some of us wonder how well his last name would fit our first (don't think this has changed since high school, for I have seen some of your notebooks in class.)
Being "in love" is just that -- being in a moment of an emotion. Yet, states of being change as feelings change. We cannot think falling in love will last just as we know the excitement of our first car didn't get us to 17 or the high of graduating from high school did not follow us to, well, anywhere after the headache the next morning.
Knowing this, we can recognize that falling in love is exactly what it says -- we fall for a while until one day we realize that we are surrounded by love. It is no longer always exciting when he or she calls, kisses don't numb your entire body and running into him or her on the way to class may not be the most exciting part of your day.
Some of us worry that the lack of excitement means something bad, but in truth, it just means these things -- this person -- have become something we expect. And in expectations we have security. Though this state of love, for most of the people I know, is not necessarily as fun as the falling part, we have to stop falling sometime. It is then when we find the point of falling, our destination, our Christmas afternoon, if you will.
Sometimes people break up at this point because they think once the thrill is gone, the love is gone. They mistake the lack of excitement in this comfort as an indication of boredom or a wrong fit, attributing their change of emotions as a problem in the relationship rather than a different, not worse, phase.
Yet, others of us embrace it and recognize that though the relationship is not as mysterious as it once was, it is just as great, if not better, to be in the love rather than falling. It is comfortable, peaceful, admittedly sometimes annoying, but there, without a doubt. These people know, if their parents are still together or can remember when they were, that mom doesn't get butterflies every time she kisses dad, and that's okay, if not better.
There are certain things I want for Christmas this year and looking forward to the possibility of little blue boxes will be sure to get me through exams and all the hectic shopping and traveling I will do in a short week before Christmas. Yet whether Old Saint Nick fulfills my every Tiffany's desire or not really isn't the issue. The fact remains that this Dec. 25 -- diamonds or not -- I will be surrounded by love from family and friends. This kind of love, like the one met after falling in love, is the point of the entire experience beforehand.
With this being my last column of the semester, I want to wish you all a wonderful break at both Thanksgiving and in December as well as best of luck with exams. I hope this holiday season is one of joy, peace and love for us all.
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