We think too hard. It explains a comment that girls at the University "are too smart to know what they want." In reality, both genders are guilty of this. The culprit? Too much rational thinking. Why do we need to drink beer? To escape the rationality box.
Our social lives would be more enjoyable if we elevated feeling over reason more often. Too frequently, we succumb to plans, scenarios and over-analysis. We lose our humanity through these plans of conduct. If feeling beats rationality in the battle of our bodies, happiness wins.
Too often, we deny ourselves momentary pleasure for a (supposedly) better future. The American belief is that if we go to college, graduate, get a good job, the good life will follow. What, when we are sitting in the subdivision, with our rigid work schedules, the minivan sits in the garage, the bills need payment, we press a button to activate happiness? Common reason wants us to think this. College is when we should learn how to live the good life, not when we learn how to postpone it.
Three centuries ago Rousseau wrote how "reason is cold." This philosopher lamented how civilization had elevated reason over feeling. Every Friday night examples of cold behavior and resulting unhappiness abound.
A century later, Max Weber warned how too much rational thinking would dehumanize society. Instead of people seeking high ideals (such as compassion and pleasure), the modern world would contain people who simply followed the rules without caring to grander human values. He called it rationalization.
In the last century, this became "McDonaldization." University of Maryland sociology professor George Ritzer defined this as "the process whereby the principles of the fast-food restaurant are coming to dominate more and more sectors of American society." What in the world do hamburgers have to do with how Wahoos interact?
Just like a Big Mac, we increasingly want our relationships to be packaged in a little box. We know exactly what we will be getting, how fast it will be served (efficiency) and how much it will cost (calculability). Telling a romantic prospect, "I chose not to be committed to anyone this year because I am too busy" is like choosing a quick, easy and predictable hamburger.
In almost any social situation, one can imagine how rationality has made us so averse to risk.
It's Friday night. In a dark room, a guy and a girl look at each other.Let us go into his mind. Like the song, he thinks, "My mind is telling me no. But my body is telling me yes. What will happen tomorrow? Will she avoid me if things go wrong later?" She thinks, "Oh, how sweet this would taste! What if this is more than sensuality? Do I really have time for that? What's my roommate going to say if I come home late? He has not wooed me sufficiently." Reason always impedes intimacy, but it does not have to do this.Unabashed sensuality can happen.
How define rationality? It is using rules, procedures and stark classifications to arrive at decisions. It plans, orders and structures our lives to be stable. Therein lies its fault: It's predictable and boring.
Too often, rationality guards against enjoyment. To say the word "pleasure" connotes some lustful pursuit we shall shunned. Our defenses against merriment are so well trained and coached by our rational society. It's time that our offenses receive attention as they march toward pleasure.
If happiness is the ultimate goal of life, we need to rely less on this rational thinking. Plans leave people behind in their wake. Instead, we ought to live by emotion, feeling, sensuality, and spontaneity. Living by reason, we avoid costs more than we approach benefits. Living by feeling, we find more reasons for yes than no. Happiness prefers the latter.
Beer is the obvious exception to the usual risk-adverse behavior. It is our only antidote to predictable dullness, for alcohol has become the necessary ingredient for risk. Thinking about the first time a guy and girl share affection here at the University, sober romantic encounters (hook-ups in the vernacular) are too rare. Without the "social lubricant" of beer, our gears are just thinking too hard to spin. Beer shouldn't be always necessary to have a good time.
This is not counsel to abandon all rationality. Then every night would be a coed sleepover. Plans to graduate are distinct from plans to not be anybody's girlfriend. Still, rational restraint leads to barren lives. If reason is cold and emotion is warm, then we shall move closer to the fire -- but not get burnt.
Indulge more, reason less is the advice.
(Brandon Possin's column appears Fridays The Cavalier Daily. He can be reached at bpossin@cavalierdaily.com.)
Read More
PATEL: Personal development courses support students beyond the gradebook
By Heer Patel | 2 days agoThe University must rethink its approach to education beyond traditional major-specific requirements and mandate personal development courses.
EDITORIAL: Commercialization threatens U.Va.’s educational mission
By Editorial Board | 3 days agoAfter all, measuring the University’s worth in terms of accrued capital, operational efficiency and numerical rankings molds this space into just another cookie-cutter institution.
YOUNIS: Why every U.Va. student should say yes to English
By Ayat Younis | January 9, 2025Every student at the University, regardless of their primary field of study, can professionally and academically benefit from engaging with the English department.
