The gaming news is piling up faster than Medal of Honor sequels this time of year, hence, this special off-week edition.
And with the pending glut of gaming goodness the next few hectic weeks provide, the Gamer reminds you to take it easy. Put down the controller once every 40 to 50 minutes and refocus your eyes on a distant object. Get up and walk around a bit. Perhaps a brief peek outside or a breath of fresh air would do you well.
Then return to that game and work the controller until white powder spews from the twirling joysticks and the "X" rubs clean off the pad.
Electronic Gaming Monthly, Gamer.tv and Gamespot are the sources for this week's news.
Digitized D-Cups
Perusing the periodical section of the local Barnes & Nobles the other day, the Gamer was surprised to find "Play Magazine presents Girls of Gaming," a "special collector's magazine" purporting to celebrate "gaming's greatest females." Inside the over-priced polygonal smutfest, the Gamer found supposedly alluring renderings of top-selling videogames' top-heaviest females.
Needless to say, the publishers of this softcore polygonal porn hope to cash in on the fervent infatuation some lonely gamers have for their favorite tomb raider or busty combatant.
Intriguing? Yes.
Did the Gamer buy a copy? No.
Besides, why would any Wahoo need such a magazine when a simple stroll around Grounds will more than please the eye?
Sequels Squared
Fanboys jonesin' for more Sephiroth v. Cloud action will be delighted to catch wind of Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children, a continuation of the Aerith-slaughtering epic. Instead of creating a game, however, Square Enix has decided to challenge themselves to a 60 minute CG-animated movie. Set two years after FFVII's end, look for the movie to be released in an unnamed format Summer 2004 in Japan (EGM).
And for Disney devotees and connoisseurs of cross-over classics, Kingdom Hearts II is in the works, surprising no one. Animated sensations Donald Duck, Goofy and plenty of marketable friends return alongside Sora on track for a holiday season 2004 release (EGM).
Twenty Quid on Double Dash
Across the pond in the United Kingdom, the European Leisure Software Association and Ladbrokes Bookmakers have begun setting the odds for bets on the top-10 best-selling videogames this holiday season.
Pop Idol, a game based on the British parent of American Idol, is anticipated by bookies to be the biggest seller, garnering the lowest payoff at 1/2. Harry Potter: Quidditch World Cup is a distant second at 5/1 and games such as The Sims Bustin' Out (14/1) and
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (50/1) round out the list (Gamer.tv).
The Gigli of the Handheld World
Last week, the Gamer reported the lowering of N-Gage's price point. In fact, the MSRP for the industry pariah is still an astronomical $299.99.
In an effort to clear out stagnant stock, however, several major online stores have begun offering hundred dollar instant rebates or gift cards to entice purchasers. Gamestop and EBGames.com, arguably the largest online game stores, are offering three free games in addition to an instant rebate.
Nokia officials denied the recent fire sale tactics are in any way related to news last week that the N-Gage's game-card encryption has been hacked, allowing games to be downloaded for free online (Gamespot).
What If?
Positive feedback for last week's suggestion for the next videogame in the Sim series has prompted the Gamer to further stroke his ego by sharing this week a game idea he has been developing for quite a while.
In order to set the tone, we must travel back in time, fully two-and-a-half years into the Gamer's storied past. It is the summer of 2001 and the Gamer's copy of RPG Maker for the Playstation has arrived in the mail.
Giddy with excitement over the endless possibilities of self-made RPGs and his recently acquired DexDrive, the Gamer set to work designing the ultimate game.
Here, in explicit detail, was the Gamer's dream:
Create an epic game doing justice to the incredibly deep and complex world of marching band.
Think about it. Marching band, an involved effort that consumes hundreds of hours each fall from tens of thousands of high schoolers and an accomplished core of college students, is extremely underrepresented in the videogame world at this moment.
Since then, "Drumline," a marching band movie, took the box office by surprise.
The game would include training mini-games and franchise management features a la the Madden series for the development of star performers and the timed-button presses of music games like Amplitude or Parappa the Rapper for the music and marching aspects of the shows. And band incest witnesses would revel in the clever pseudo-dating simulator akin to Thousand Arms.
In short, the game would revolutionize genre-blending in a quirky but lovable game.
Say, they don't have marching bands in Japan, do they? And is that Fresh Games label by Eidos still around?
Happy holidays and happy gaming,
The Gamer
If you e-mail the Gamer at Gamer@cavalierdaily.com, not only will he not immediately delete your message, he will likely reply to it!
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