Remember how thrilling it was to open your new composition book in second grade and read all the "Useful Information" on the back inside cover? Paper measure, Troy weight and Apothecaries' weight -- exotic tidbits of information, all right there for you to use as the need arose.
Ben Schott recreates that thrill -- the thrill of uncovering exotic and impractical knowledge in a more fleshed-out format: "Schott's Original Miscellany." "Miscellany" is more than obscure weights and measures, it's a top-notch collection of archaic and utterly useless facts, all the fun of the composition book without something as mundane as a multiplication table to interrupt.
Even though it's almost slender enough to fit in your back pocket, "Miscellany" is the ideal coffee table book. Ward off awkward pauses in conversations by picking up the book, flipping to one of the 158 pages, and explaining the Scoville Scale for measuring the heat of peppers. Or, since it's small enough to carry with you, make a stunning first impression by speaking in Cockney Rhyming Slang.
Although you can read it in one sitting (it's amusing enough to do so), "Miscellany" is styled as an old-fashioned almanac and makes every attempt at utility. The facts are arranged in elegant columns, tables or diagrams as the need arises; each piece of information is preceded by a bold header, so there is no doubt about what new (or, often, old) tidbits you're picking up. Schott includes an index to make searching for specific information simpler, and the back flap of the cover even doubles as a ruler.
Nevertheless, the utility of "Miscellany" is doubtful. I just can't see desperately needing to know the colors of the Empire State Building, International Envelope sizes or how many agates tall they are.
If "Schott's Original Miscellany" falls short in practical application, its worth lies in the breadth of topics and wealth of witty quotations strung together into a remarkably harmonious whole. Some of the joy of reading "Miscellany" comes from the book's seemingly random order. There is an index for a reason -- there is no reason to the arrangement of facts. A table of "Murder Methods of Miss Marple Novels" occupies the same page as a paragraph on "Castrati" and the color spectrum. The facts themselves are by far the most enjoyable part. Highlights include WWII postal acronyms found on the backs of envelopes soldiers sent home to their lovers, ("B.U.R.M.A." is "Be Upstairs Ready My Angel," "I.T.A.L.Y." is "I'm Thinking About Loving You") American Diner Slang (I'll have "shingles with a shimmy," i.e. toast and jam) International Washing Symbols, turn of the century British Public School Slang, lists of great tongue twisters and palindromes, and the Ivy League Fight Songs (Cornell's doesn't have the school's name in it even once, but it mentions alcohol consumption twice).
The book causes an insatiable addictiveness -- I found myself re-reading certain facts and planning ways to drop them into conversation. However, my enjoyment was slightly marred by Schott's attempt to 'modernize' the collection of facts with chat room abbreviations and explanations of emoticons. These just don't seem to fit with such information as how to say "I love you" in 43 languages, "Curious Deaths of some Burmese Kings," and "Some Notable Belgians." It's almost as though Schott is pointing out the inanity of the online conversation by including these abbreviations with Shakespearian insults and chess terms. Perhaps my distaste is a product of a personal disgust of online abbreviations and the like; many readers may enjoy seeing them here.
"Schott's Original Miscellany" is a gem of a book. Lending itself to the pocket reference book format (though much more refined and giftable), "Miscellany" allows the reader to get as involved as he wishes -- there's none of the time commitment of a novel here. This is not to say that you won't get attached to this book; I know that I certainly can't live without knowing the Order of English Succession.
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