All right, so maybe I was a little harsh on the cold last week, only focusing on the negatives. Being the optimist I am, I decided there's got to be some positives, right? Well, maybe. Anyway, here are a few things I came up with:
1) Trash. Is there a better way to cover the trash in your front yard then a good six inches of snow? I think not. That's at least one more week we don't have to clean the front yard!
2) Alcohol. What better place to hide a six-pack or a few flasks than one of those monster jackets? Those things could probably hide a handle if you really wanted them to.
3) Pillows. Once again, those wonderfully thick and soft jackets, when removed in class, provide excellent pillows for sleeping through class. What better way to make use of your tuition?
4) Falling snow. Is there anything better than seeing snow fall off a roof and land on some unsuspecting victim coming out of a building? I submit that there is not. This one goes hand-in-hand with someone stepping off the curb on to what looks like snow when it actually is a puddle of ice water. As long as it's not me. Speaking of which, much thanks to the guy walking in front of me on Tuesday who took one for the team and showed me just where one of those puddles was, 'Nam style.
5) Fires. Yesterday we burnt like 15 beer cases, a blanket, some light bulbs, trash that we couldn't fit in bags and possibly some wood at some point. What better way to reaffirm one's manliness than making fire? Oh yeah, not remembering to open the chimney flue.
So yeah. Snow is great. I love being cold. And now on to further matters.