I LOVE Valentine's Day.
I can already hear the cries from those unfortunate students who have stubbornly conditioned themselves to despise the heart-shaped, candy-coated, red-and-pink happiness that is Valentine's Day. Shush, you poor, misguided souls. You get no sympathy from me. Despite popular opinion, Valentine's Day isn't just about romance. Instead of writing if off as a couples-only holiday, students should see Valentine's Day as celebration of love of all kinds.
I have several friends who like to pick out alternative names for Valentine's Day, like "Singles Awareness Day" and "Nobody Loves You Day" and "Men Are Stupid Morons Day" (I substituted a little on that last one, as the actual name is a bit too obscene for the Cav Daily). Now, I too have been single on many a Valentine's Day (yes, hard to believe, I know), yet I have never felt the need to dive into this pool of bitter resentment.
Why? Why all the backlash? Why all the bitter, ranting, down-with-love, manic behavior? Perhaps it's because people can't see Valentine's Day as an anything more than a mushy obligation for couples to spend lots of money on each other, all the while mocking their single friends.
So, in my growing fondness for making lists and passing them off as valid opinion columns, I present: Why Valentine's Day Is A Happy, Friendly Holiday And Should Be Celebrated By All U.Va. Students.
1. Those little conversation hearts only taste good on one day of the year. Kind of like candy corn on Halloween. Do not let that one day pass you by.
2. Speaking of food, Valentine's Day is an excellent excuse to eat lots of good chocolate. Enough said.
3. Remember in elementary school when you had to bring in valentines for everyone in the class? Remember how good you felt when the valentine mailbox you made the week before was stuffed full of cards and candy and the occasional mechanical pencil? Well, you can give your friends that same feeling by going out and buying a box of children's valentines for $2.99 that say things like "You're the coolest!" and "Thumbs up!" Perhaps you can even find some throwback Barbie or G.I. Joe valentines and really make someone's day.
4. Ladies, as you know, men are not the sharpest tools in the shed when it comes to romance. This is why you have to take charge. Planning a Valentine's Day celebration is way fun. It also guarantees that you won't end up going to, say, a NASCAR race.
5. Gentlemen, before you start whining about what an expensive and time-consuming and un-manly holiday this is, remember that if you get your girlfriend what she wants, she'll probably give you what you want, if you catch my drift. It all works out in your favor in the end.
6. You can probably boost your grade a whole letter grade by getting your professor a nice (platonic) valentine. Who cares about grade inflation, anyway?
7. All those U.Va. boys who own pink polo shirts now have an actual reason to wear them.
8. This is the only time of the year when the center aisle at CVS actually looks pretty. And I should know. I worked there.
9. The Hallmark store is littered with those sappy, lace-covered, undying love kinds of cards, yes, but few people appreciate the comedic gem that is the "funny" Valentine's Day card. I once saw a card that said on the front, "What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus on Valentine's Day?" On the inside it said -- and I'm not kidding -- "Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand?" How can you not buy that for someone?
10. Lastly, and most importantly, Valentine's Day is not just for couples. It's a day to love everyone! Yay! Family, friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, professors, classmates, even the neighbors upstairs who hold band practice at four in the morning on a Tuesday. It's the only day of the year when, in the words of one James Taylor, you can shower the people you love with love, and not look completely ridiculous.
And so, ye haters of Valentine's Day, wipe those bitter scowls off of your faces. It's a fun holiday! It's a happy, heart-shaped bundle of love! Celebrate it! Tell someone you love them!
Happy Valentine's Day.
(Kristin Brown's column usually appears Wednesday in The Cavalier Daily. She can be reached at kbrown@cavalierdaily.com.)
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