Here we go again.
Pink and red hearts, ashortage of doilies at CVS and little kids buying 8,000 cards for all their friends at school -- complete with Power Rangers and whoever else is cool to a third-grader.
It's chocolate and red roses, expensive French restaurants and a guaranteed night with your love of choice. Yes, my friends, we are approaching Valentine's Day, and what else has the power to stress you out and warm your soul all at the same time?
Most of our first Valentine memories are from elementary school, when Mrs. Smith would send a note home asking our parents to be sure to provide a card for every child in the class. This recognition of possible neglect and subsequent blows to self-esteem demonstrates that Valentine's, from the very beginning of our experience with it, has been tainted by the stigma that it's only a holiday for the select few -- those who are either in relationships or who didn't have an ugly phase during puberty.
To make matters worse, when I was in high school, Valentine's Day was always a bit of a drama. Keeping in mind that I attended an all-girls school, it's understandable that a holiday that singles out the singles as, well, single can lead only to estrogen-laden despair.
Boyfriends would send bouquets of flowers to school, tape banners on cars and make posters to show off their love. Even guy friends would join in and sneak through security to tape notes on lockers, hoping to ease their friends' disjointed mindset and knowing how much trouble they would be in if they didn't.
I've noticed that the same tenant surrounding Valentine's Day for these girls in Texas can be applied to most others. Guy or gal, Valentine's Day can be tough for most people involved -- dating or single.
Some people argue that it seems arbitrary for couples to feel pressure on some randomly ordained day to say things they feel or think they should feel. Plus, who wants to buy more presents than the ones already required for anyone in a relationship? Most people believe the anniversary, Christmas (or other religious holidays) and birthday gifts are enough -- more than enough. Not to mention the fact that you feel totally pressured to find the perfect gift, equally valuable and sentimental, because this is THE day to show how much you care.
Then you have all the single people who become separated from the crowed and may feel awkward strictly because they are single. Some of them look to their coupled-off friends in envy, wishing they too had that someone to share the day with.
Nevertheless, even though cynicism is typical for me, I cannot allow myself to buy into it this Feb. 14. First of all, I have come to accept that no matter what my feelings are towards St. Valentine, the holiday will come again in 365 days, every year for the rest of my life. Hallmark, Russell Stovers and every florist in America guarantee it. But if surrendering your disdain for V-day strictly because of circumstance doesn't float your boat, consider this.
Every day we encounter people who love us or at least show us love. Yet, how often do we realize it, let alone thank them? I will never forget the night I walked into my house to see my roommate on her hands and knees, scrubbing the floor because my parents were coming to town and the house was a wreck.
Or how about the time one of my friends loaned me his car in a blizzard so I could fix my cell phone -- although, that was probably more for his sake since I am a nut and annoying without a phone.
Regardless, how do I thank the friends from whom I steal food, Diet Coke and other amenities on a regular basis?
Even if you look beyond the people you have relationships with, you find that tons of people help you everyday who don't even know you.
Professors put up with rude students who get up before they are dismissed from class and deal with horrible salaries simply because they want to help us do something with our lives. Men as old as our grandfathers shovel snow at 6 a.m. so we don't slip in front of Cabell. And after two decades, parents still deal with endless amounts of selfish twenty-something requests without complaining -- well, most of the time.
What I am trying to say is that by the very nature of being human, young and spoiled, I take advantage of the people who help me every single day. Of course we all throw out "thank yous" and buy a few drinks for pay back every now and then but the fact remains that everyday someone does you a favor and you do a favor for someone else simply out of love. This love is also the love Hallmark capitalizes on every February, not just the love we think is corny.
Honestly, I find it inspiring that Valentine's Day doesn't have to be about that couple on the Lawn who makes you want to puke when they cuddle and make out in public. Nor do I have to go out and make immaculate all-singles plans in order to counteract the evil force of coupledom in the C-ville area this Saturday night.
Consider it a day of reminders to thank those people who have bailed you out (be it from jail or from other compromising positions), copied their notes for you, taken your dry cleaning to Ivy or flown to your hometown to help you through a tough time or revel in an important event.
And if you aren't into these corny reflections on the Disney-like spin I just gave the obviously not-so-perfect relationship world, just check in with me in the next couple of weeks. Sarcasm always makes a powerful comeback.
In the meantime, a little love, wherever you find it, can't hurt -- especially on the day designated for it.
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