"My little sis brings all the boys to the yard, and I'm like, 'She's better than yours!' Sally Jackson rocks my world!"
-- Big sis love
"So, if you're one of those people who eats at the Pav during the lunch rush and you leave all your books and coat on a table to guard it while you go stand in line for 15 minutes, then guess what, you're wasting space and wasting everyone else's time. And I hope you know you're not that important. Sorry."
-- Peeved at the Pav
"I would just like to thank the police officer who made me move my car last Sunday night. If there's nothing better for these lard bags to do, why not cut them from the payroll and do all our tuitions a favor? In any case, I am sure the University is a safer place when students are forced to walk an extra half mile through an empty parking lot in the middle of the night. Keep up the good work officer!"
-- Cut the pork
"To the University Transit Service -- get your act together. I'm tired of being half-an-hour late for class because you can't do your one job right. Why is it that the busses are always 10 minutes late and when they finally do come, it's three at a time? Here's an idea: Schedule them to come at intervals. It doesn't do us any good to have two empty busses trailing a full one that's late to begin with. This isn't a rare occurrence. It happens all the time. Do your job UTS."
-- Tired of waiting
"To the bus driver I said 'see you later' to yesterday, I realize I probably will not actually 'see you later.' However, I got caught up in a series of farewells and extended an irrelevant send-off to you. I meant to say 'thank you -- your driving is far beyond superb.'"
-- Smell you later
"When and why did 107.5 F.M. -- the only reasonably enjoyable radio station in Charlottesville-- become Smooth Jazz? Do we not already have enough Kenny G. in this world and on the Central Virginia airways? We don't need slap base -- we need more cowbell."
-- Not so easy listening
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