What is it about the female orgasm that makes sex so mysterious? Why are there so many books, magazine articles, Web sites and pamphlets with "how to" guides for women to achieve orgasms, when guys learned how to get themselves off when they were 12 years old?
I know college women who have never experienced an orgasm. If a college man said he had never had one, surely something would have to be wrong. It's not rocket science --- all you need is some Lubriderm and a strong forearm. So why is it so complex to please a woman in bed? To make her orgasm, you need the right positioning, some KY jelly, the right rhythm, tempo and mood -- really an orchestration of sorts. If one little detail is out of place (or if one thing in particular is too little), then it's just not going to happen, folks.
In a 2000 poll conducted by Glamour magazine, approximately one in three women said she could not achieve orgasm during intercourse. On the other hand, the only time men said they couldn't was if they were exceptionally nervous, or have the inevitable "whiskey dick" after a long night of drinking. There are steps, however, that they can take to prevent this from happening, if sexual pleasure is a priority for the night.
California sexologists Hartman and Fithian found that it takes women an average of 20 minutes to reach orgasm. Herein lies the problem: Many guys can't last nearly that long once they get started. All of this puts a great deal of pressure on sexual partners to make it happen --- when sometimes it doesn't matter what he does, through no fault of her own, the woman simply cannot reach climax.
The clitoris is the only organ found in mammals, male or female, created solely for the purpose of pleasure. It has over 8,000 nerve fibers at its tip, which is more than twice as many as those found in the penis. So shouldn't it be easier for women to experience pleasure?
And then there's that whole two kinds of orgasm thing. What? As if it isn't hard enough to get one of these down pat, we are told that there is in fact more investigation to be done.
Most people are familiar with the clitoral orgasm, but there's also the elusive vaginal orgasm. The vaginal orgasm is achieved by stimulation of the "G-spot." For those of you who always wondered where this pleasure post lies, it is a spot about an inch and a half inside the vagina on the upper wall. The Glamour survey conducted, involving 1,500 women, discovered that 62 percent of those surveyed couldn't reach the "vaginal orgasm." Something's wrong with this picture.
After all, no one ever calls in to the Sunday Night Sex Show to ask how to help a male partner finish the job. If the problem is bad enough, there are pills readily available to remedy erectile dysfunction. But what about vaginal dysfunction or G-spot obscurity? What about Elizabeth Dole's needs?
There is no concrete answer; every woman is different. Guys, just because you knew how to make your last girlfriend come does not mean that it will do the trick for every woman you get lucky with.
I just think it's a waste of time, money and brainpower to read endless Cosmo articles in order to figure out how to use my own body. As The Washington Post says: If you don't get it, you don't get it. Keep on truckin'... and good luck.
Send questions and comments to gretchen@cavalierdaily.com.
Read More
U.Va. students and physicians team up for another year of free kidney screenings
By Merrill Hart | November 5, 2024Saturday’s screening marked the first by KDSAP at Portico Church, near IX Art Park.
U.Va. Health sees a spike in COVID-19 cases
By Emily Horn | September 4, 2023U.Va. Health ended their vaccination requirements in August, and masks were made optional in most hospital areas in early April.
U.Va. Cancer Center harnesses $12 million grant to support opportunities for undergraduates, ongoing research and new center
By Ellen Wu | January 12, 2023The grant provides an opportunity to establish the Center for Systems Analysis of Stress-Adapted Cancer Organelles, which seeks to find the cause of cancer in individual organelles.
