I am totally stressed out.
Sure, the horrible weather and the post-Spring Break letdown has hit a lot of us hard this week, but my nail biting has nothing to do with school. With apologies to my academically-devoted friends slaving away at their theses, the source of my stress is much more all-consuming: March Madness is driving me insane.
A week ago I was on a cruise through the Caribbean and the sports side of my brain was devoted almost entirely to pool volleyball. College basketball was like closed-toed shoes -- something I remembered vaguely from my time in colder climates. Sure, I almost missed the baked Alaska at dinner one night because I was catching the end of the Virginia-Clemson game in the ship's casino, but that was more about school loyalty than basketball. I was on vacation, and as much as I missed my nightly PTI, now I wish I could go back.
Selection Sunday is one of the most exciting -- and most nerve-racking -- days of the sports year. They make the picks and then you begin to wonder: What kind of returns are you going to get on your investment in a tournament pool? Don't laugh, I know you have your bracket hanging on the wall, just like mine. Problem is, mine's still filled out in pencil.
This year, I can't seem to draw up a bracket that I'm happy with. As the reigning but still unrecognized Cavalier Daily football picks champion, I believe that I have a reputation to uphold, and the pressure is getting to me. Digger Phelps says this is the most wide-open tournament he's seen in a long time, and though I normally ignore his comments in favor of watching Dickie V's eyebrows, I hope he's right. It would mean that my March Paralysis is justified.
What's a sportswriter without an opinion to do? Consult other sports nuts, of course. Esteemed colleague Matt Trogdon informed me that Wake Forest will be one of the last teams standing because they can, and I quote, "put the biscuit in the basket." Another reputable Cav Daily writer, Chris Glasser -- a true bluegrass boy, swears Kentucky's taking it all the way. Some say Connecticut looks unbeatable with Emeka Okafor, while others remind me that Duke is Duke and that the Stanford bandwagon is still going strong. I'm beginning to long for the days when I knew nothing about basketball and made my picks based on each team's mascot.
When asking around fails, there's always the independent research angle. I pored over the Washington Post's special NCAA Tournament section, and though I know more about the state of Okafor's back than maybe even his doctor, I still can't decide if Maryland really deserves the hype that Michael Wilbon is building.
Over Spring Break I picked up John Feinstein's book on the ACC, A March To Madness, and after spending 400 pages of my life with the nine ACC coaches, I can't help but dream of an all-ACC Final Four. (Tony Kornheiser can say what he wants, Feinstein's books have always been worth the read for me.) Plus, weren't all the bracketologists saying the ACC could send seven teams to the tournament this year? Why not four to San Antonio?
The real tragedy of my indecision is that I haven't found any time to look at the women's bracket. Sportswriter Frank DeFord was on the radio yesterday morning talking about how interesting the women's tournament will be this year with Diana Taurasi's ailing ankle making the target on UConn's back even larger. There are rarely any pools for the women's tournament -- March is about the men -- and I couldn't help but think that DeFord was onto something when he said the women's tournament could get twice the attention if it were played in February. So I would like to give the women their props and try my luck on their bracket, but at this rate, I might still be trying to pick my men's round of eight when the ladies tip off. Sigh.
No wonder they call it March Madness.