Spit, swallow or dodge? That is the question. When asked, most guys said they prefer that the girl swallow. Apparently, it feels better, and it's obviously easier. Girls I spoke to were pretty split on their preferences -- some spit, some swallow, and some do their best to get out of the line of fire.
What do I do with that now? Is there some rule of etiquette here? Is it offensive if we choose to spew? After all, it is rude to spit. Will it hurt your feelings if I'd rather choose a dirty T-shirt than my digestive tract as its final resting place?
A safe solution to this conundrum has been presented in the form of flavored condoms. Orange, strawberry, chocolate, banana, vanilla, grape, cola, cherry and mint flavored love gloves are available at drugstores nationwide. Presumably this would solve the loaded question of spit or swallow. The male can enjoy himself, the female can add a little "flavor" to the experience, and there's no mess to clean up. Although there is no risk of pregnancy with oral sex, sexually transmitted diseases can be shared. After all, these flavored condoms weren't invented simply for their lollipop-like enjoyment and the easy cleanup factor. Even if the receiver does not reach orgasm, it is still possible for the giver to be the receiver of some nasty afflictions.
According to Lou Paget, author of "How to be a Great Lover" and "365 Days of Sensational Sex," 20 to 25 percent of women claim to swallow.
Water, vitamin C, citric acid, phosphate and zinc make up some of the 30-plus different ingredients in sperm. Sounds pretty healthy, huh? And a tablespoon of semen only has about five to seven calories, for all you sexually active calorie counters out there. Some girls claim that the texture makes it impossible for them to process the "protein shake." After all, that stuff is coming at us at 28 miles per hour! No really, it does come out, on average, at 28 miles per hour.
However, the majority cites the taste as the main deterrent. After all, "old pennies and stale mayo" hardly sounds appetizing. But believe it or not guys, you can control the taste of your semen!
If you are trying to make your treat a bit tastier, you are going to have to monitor your own diet first.
Here's how: on the "day of," cut coffee from the menu, ditch the dairy, forget fish, skip the cigarette, refrain from red meat, go without garlic, and lay off the liquor. These all have negative effects on the taste of your phallic phlegm. Overwhelmingly, asparagus seems to be the kiss of death. In general, stay away from most green vegetables. In addition, drugs will swaddle your skeet in a foul flavor -- especially cocaine (another reason not to date cokeheads, girls).
But don't sweat, my friends and potential boyfriends. There is a light at the end of the tunnel! Fruits like pineapple, papaya and mango, as well as cinnamon and ginger, can help sweeten your lovin' spoonful. In addition, high quality, naturally fermented beers such as Rolling Rock will improve your taste.
So all you tough guys out there ordering Jack and Cokes, don't be so quick to scoff at the chap next to you ordering a Malibu and Pineapple. He's got more game than you know. As for the meatheads -- you know who you are -- word on the street is that organic vegetarians have the best tasting semen. So next time you're eating out (in a restaurant), order that veggie burger and help a sister out.
Gretchen is a Cavalier Daily bi-weekly sex-columnist, and can be reached at Gretchen@cavalierdaily.com
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