My favorite movie growing up was Grease. I would watch it all the time and can sing every song, hum each harmony and recognize every costume as well as any nursery rhyme. So, "summer loving" has always existed as an idea in my head, though I never had a summer fling myself until this year. Maybe it was part of being in a different city, maybe it was because it was one of the few single summers of my post-pubescent life. Whatever the reason, I became Sandy and, though it was only for a short period of time, it was worth every minute.
There's something so special about a summer relationship that no other relationship seems to have. First of all, it is contained in a certain span of time and a particular place, whether it's the Vineyard, Nantucket or the Hamptons. So, from the very beginning, there is an understood expiration date between the two parties. And it is this deadline that allows all the glory of a summer fling to occur.
It seems that the knowledge the end is in sight provides for a lot of honesty, or maybe better said, the lack of BS normally dealt with in the long-term pursuit of a relationship. There is not enough time for game playing, i.e. the hard-to-get M.O. of waiting a particular number of days before you call or saying you are busy when you really are just washing your hair. Being that your days are numbered, both parties find it easier to be, well, easy.
The beauty of this is that it allows for people to ask for and receive what they want. In fact, summer love in its swift evolution and execution is ironically one of the healthiest kinds of relationships I have ever witnessed -- even within its context of a mutually understood, pending ending. The content is purer than most drawn-out pursuits. You are able to be honest as to who you are and what you want because there is no fear of being scared off or doing the scaring (i.e. it's easier to ask someone out for the night or accept a date that starts in 20 minutes when you don't have time to worry about whether or not this will make you seem overeager, thus freaking out the other person).
Needless to say, the inevitable end of your trist implicitly allows for a lack of emotional commitment and a safe place to put your energy and time without worrying that you are going to be left in the dust. Some people may shudder at this idea simply because they cannot imagine any relationship without some sort of mutual emotional respect between the two people. But I have found that even though a summer love lacks the said commitment of most long-term relationships, it allows for honesty and the ability to express oneself without fear, which essentially paves the way for a lot of emotional understanding -- at the very least -- between the two people involved. You are in the moment. And some how by simply being in the present-- and not thinking about a future date -- a level of comfort, as well as an emotional connection, that may otherwise take three months is achieved in three weeks.
And since there is no breakup because of a mistake or misgiving of behalf of one party or the other, no one walks away broken hearted. Rather, time is the clincher and personally so much more appealing than, "It's not you, it's me" or "I love you, but I'm not in love with you anymore." Ugh.
Granted, summer loves can come around and bite you in the ass. Sometimes it may seem as though it is going to be as simple to leave the person as it was to spend all the money you earned this summer on one weekend in Vegas. But the reality for some may be that summer love becomes a fall desire. If you ask me, this is a fine risk to take. If the relationship is executed well, meaning that both people gave it all they wanted or could give to the tete-a-tete, there is a prettily packaged span of time to provide you with great memories next time you are near your photo album, peruse your saved text messages, or, if you are lucky, receive a bi-monthly email from a lover-turned-good-friend catching you up on his or her life.
So if you are among the many of us who are recently saying goodbye to a fling, deleting his number so you don't make embarrassing 4 a.m. calls post late-night fun on Rugby or debating that e-mail you have wanted to send just to see if she remembers you (which I promise she does): congratulations on a successful summer love.
You never know, maybe you'll have your very own "Grease" experience and Sandy will show up in Newcomb on the first day of school with her new posse. Just spare us all and don't break out in song, okay?
Callan Blount can be reached at blount@cavalierdaily.com
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