Some people in the world don't believe tossing small balls into plastic cups can be a true sport. Once, I was among their ranks. Fortunately, since my arrival at U.Va., I have been taught the true finesse of the competition and learned to appreciate its subtleties.
I'm not referring to just any beer pong though, for the real followers know that regular slow pong has no appeal, no skill, no excitement. The diehards -- they opt for the golden pong, commonly known as "Speed Pong."
Maybe you have had broken wrists for the past two years, or maybe you were in a coma. Whatever your excuse is for not knowing Speed Pong, you can no longer use it. For I am here to educate the masses about how they should really be handling two ping-pong balls and 14 Solo cups. So read this article and let your knowledge be a light to the undergraduate world, a beacon of truth.
Let's start with the basics. You need a place to play that is preferably an inviting atmosphere and includes a table of decent proportions (at least two by six). You need a liquid you want to consume, of any nature. Though inebriation is commonly associated with this game, in actuality the contest is about the skill involved, and nothing else. You need two ping-pong balls and 14 solo cups (I have a slight preference for red). Finally, you need at least three other people willing to challenge their mental and physical capabilities.
Divide into teams of two. Remember that sometimes competition can become intense, so choose your partner based on agility and accuracy. If all participants have similar skill levels, remember to take into consideration ingenuity and the desire to win. The cups are then set up in triangles of six (one of each end of the table), exactly like regular beer pong. Remember also, for health and sanitation's sake, to always fill the remaining two cups with warm water for intermediary washing of the ping-pong balls.
Now you are ready. On a backwards count of "three, two, one" each team launches one ball towards the opposite end of the table, aiming for the ball to land with a victorious splash into one of the cups. Until either team has accomplished this, balls are considered "live" and can be taken by a member of either team no matter where the ball's location. Balls are live throughout the game, and competitors must take advantage of this to vanquish their opponents.
When someone has sunk the first ball into a cup, the most intense play begins. Remove the cup containing the ball, and return both balls to the side that made the shot. Shots may continue until that liquid is finished, so drink quickly. This explains why a milkshake would be a bad liquid of choice. So would vodka.
After the cup's contents are consumed, if another cup has not been made (in which case the process repeats), the team who has been shooting gets the balls back for one more shot (per team member, excluding the possibility that they have recovered a "live" ball). This pattern continues until a team eliminates all six cups on the opposite side.
The explanation above is merely a skeleton to what is the complex organism of a sport. Beyond these basics are the acquired instinctive and reflexive movements your body will become used to, the inter-rivalries that will occur and many other moments that could change your life -- or make for really good digital photo opportunities.
For instance, one of my friends partakes in the "shoot-and-run." This move requires the shooter to shoot the ball toward the opposite cups and then run after it immediately in case it does not go in -- she might be able to retrieve the ball faster than the other team. Because of this tactic, she has injured herself and others. This same girl once stole the ball from the water cup. Technically, there is no rule about this, but be careful not to cross the line. I was playing against her, and we would have won if she hadn't stolen that ball.
As already mentioned, the importance of your teammate is crucial. You have to dominate your opponents in skill, but you should also heckle the other team. This can be accomplished in a variety of ways. There is the classic wave-your-hand-over-the-cups move, but I do not encourage this trick. Any other gestures are perfectly acceptable. Another strategy -- making team names -- strengthens bonding between teammates, and therefore creates a better team.
An item of special mention is the possibility of a "kill-cup." When both balls from one team go into the same cup, on the same turn (or as long as there is still liquid in the cup), the cup is deemed a kill-cup and the game is over. Feel free to throw this ending in the other team's face because it's pretty badass.
Finally, a word of advice: As this game is a sport -- and most likely a contact sport at that (I've head-butted hardcore and seen one person pull a muscle) -- be careful. Don't injure yourself in your prime Speed Pong years.
I hope this game will mean as much to you as it does to me and my friends. We've played on both coasts of the nation and in all sorts of ensembles, including one young man who likes to drop his pants to expose his lucky boxers while shooting.
Ask not what Speed Pong can do for you, but what you can do for Speed Pong.
Clare can be reached at Ondrey@cavalierdaily.com
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