You know who's awesome? Prince. He's a music legend like Michael Jackson. Except without all that, let's call it, "tabloid appeal." I've had "Party like its 1999" on permanent loop since school started. My roommate's gonna kill me.
n If I had one regret in life it is this: I never got the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Turtle Van for my birthday. My 17th birthday. Let's face it, the Batmobile is a poor substitute. It's hard enough to be a teenage crime-fighting team as it is, now imagine getting around the mean streets of NYC when only one of you fits inside the damn car.
n Now that I think about it, if I had two regrets in life, the second would be confessing the above to literally tens of people who read this column.
n Burger King? Dairy Queen? White Castle? What's with the royalty terms in my fast food? This is America -- we don't tolerate that tyrannical, imperialist propaganda. Red Lobster better watch its Communist leanings, too. And don't get me started on Osama's Great Saudi Steakery. Though his desserts are infidelicious.
n If I ever start a band, I'm totally gonna call it "Majority." That way when we rock out, people can yell, "Majority rules!" So not only will others be aware of the degree to which my band rocks, but they'll also learn about democracy.
n A lot of people get mad when they discover they have a bug bite. To a large extent, I do too. But deep down, there's always a part of me thinking, "Sweet ... there's a pretty good chance I'm gonna get superpowers now."
n Some people criticize college life for being too alcohol-focused. But drinking provides for valuable learning experiences. For example, before attending college, I never knew what a residential area would look like if a Solo cup truck exploded in it several times during the course of a weekend. But now, if someone asked me on Sunday morning, I could say, "Like that. That is exactly what it would look like." So thank you, Fratty McFratterson's of the world, you provide us with so much and ask for so little in return.
n P. Diddy (better known as "the guy under Farnsworth Bentley's umbrella") has really started to play up his "Vote or Die" initiative this week. I think this is an awesome idea, as the hip hop community just doesn't get much representation in government affairs. I long for the day when someone is appointed Secretary of Keepin it Real. And we can really jazz up boring political phrases. A "Mission Accomplished" banner is a poor choice in comparison to "99 Problems but Iraq Ain't One".
n And yeah, I'm aware of how out of place the phrase "really jazz up" sounds while talking about hip hop. I just like the phrase "jazz up". And "jazz hands" for that matter. Jazz hands.
n Kudos to the Arts and Sciences Council for making Animal-House-esque COLLEGE shirts. In all seriousness, those are awesome. It's almost enough to distract me from the fact that after I graduate, my degree in Folklore Studies and Scandinavian Mythology will make me virtually unemployable.
n Last Saturday's game served as a nice reminder of how awesome CavMan is. And how weird Sabato is (does Larry moonlight as a gladiatorial referee?). CavMan once again reminded us that the game isn't about a sea of orange, sundresses, the pep/marching band or even football itself. It's about sending annoying animals to Mascot Hell.
n I'm declaring a new edict: There is to be a five-second rule for bathrooms. If you're in the bathroom for five seconds, even if you're just standing there, you HAVE to wash your hands. I'm tired of giving dudes the "I can't believe you're halfway out the door and your contaminated hands are entering my otherwise sanitary outside world" look. I'm giving everyone a week to spread the word, and then I'm gonna start calling people out on it. "Dude, get back here. Wash your hands. We live in a society now."
n 1) Go online. 2) Do a Google search for "Spider-man Reviews Crayons". 3) Prepare to waste an hour.
n I'm gonna try implementing a new thing in this column. A weekly thumbs up/thumbs down to random stuff that happens at U.Va. For example:
I'm walking towards the Newcomb Dining hall card swipe and see the lady at the desk is having a bad day. But by the time I get there, she greets me with a smile and a happy hello. Thumbs way up to her.
Then I go into the dining hall and realize its five minutes before closing time and see that all that's left are a few veggie burgers. Attention vegetarians: Stop screwing me over. Thumbs down.
n Got a thumbs up/thumbs down? Send them to cunningham@cavalierdaily.com. Don't worry if they're funny or not -- I'll joke them up. Or at the very least, insert a random 90s television reference. I don't think I've covered Fresh Prince of Bel-Air yet.
n And just a closing FYI for everybody:
Homecomings is this Friday. The 'S' stands for "super," I think. It's gonna be loads of fun -- we're gonna party like its 1999.
Eric can be reached at Cunningham@cavalierdaily.com
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