First off, let me give a huge shout out to the guy at the Clemson game who held up the "ESPN 8: The Ocho" sign. I tip my hat to you. Life needs more random movie references. Alright, with that out of the way, let the thought train wreck begin...
Why are Sprite and 7UP cans and bottles green? The drinks aren't green. They're not made from green fruits. For once I'd like a soda to embrace its clearness and not try to be something its not. Don't try to deceive me, soft drinks.
My roommate brought his dog to C'ville this week while his parents went out of town. So for a brief period there, I was Eric Cunningham: Dog Owner. If you're thinking about getting a dog for your apartment, I strongly recommend it. It gave me an excuse to say, "What's up dawg!" whenever I walked in the door, without feeling like a jackass. My roommates think I'm a jackass, but in my mind it's still a witty salutation, and gets cleverer every time.
Simple fact: There is nothing more awkward than getting caught in the "No, no, I don't watch that show"-lie. You'll be sitting there with a friend watching some mid-90s movie on TBS or something, and you'll start to really notice one of the characters. There's just something about them. Suddenly before you have time to think about it, you'll say, "Where have I seen that girl before?" and there'll be some quiet silence while you both ponder in what movies that actress has been. "OHH! I remember, that's Amy Jo Johns- :::voice trails off:::"
"Who?"
"Oh, uh, no, um, nothing. Nevermind." "No, who is it?"
":::Sigh::: Amy Jo Johnson.":::Silence:::
"The pink Power Ranger."
The ability to memorize every two-bit actor in Hollywood is a blessing and a curse. No, actually I can't really think of a way it's even remotely useful.
Speaking of incredible awkwardness: I take time now to formally apologize to Charlottesville drivers in general for my inexcusable behavior this weekend. On a related note, if the mechanic I sent my car to over fall break wants to explain why it died on the corner of 14th and University this weekend, he can come visit me in the hospital, where I assume I'll be after people find out I was the guy who caused the largest traffic jam known to man. Please, be gentle.
Heaven: When you realize that your soap, shampoo and toothpaste will all run out slightly after you get home for fall break, meaning you can mooch stuff from your family.
Hell: When you realize you've miscalculated by a few days. I was officially the smelly guy studying for midterms in Alderman.
So I went to D.C. this weekend and discovered that the idea for U.Va.'s Academical Village un-cooly has been stolen, supersized and placed in our nation's capital. First off, take a large, rectangular chunk of grass and place it in a central location. Sound familiar? Then, instead of a Rotunda, they've got the Capitol Building (with its own rotunda on top). Travel down the 'Mall' :::cough cough, Lawn::: and instead of a Homer statue, they've got the Washington Monument. And just behind that is the original Old Cabell Hall, known as the Lincoln Memorial. I guess the Smithsonian is some Lawn rooms or something... the analogy doesn't play out a hundred percent. All I know is that I heard some junior senators talking about how Congressional initiation involves streaking down the Mall.
Recently The Cavalier Daily reported that the A-school has designed 'outdoor rooms' for its students. Apparently taking five courses in 'planning' doesn't prepare you for debuting outdoor rooms right as winter is starting. This is why people make fun of us.
Over break I was driving home down the interstate and I saw a sign stating "Speed Limit Enforced by Aircraft." Really? Apparently the local authorities ran out of police cruisers. What's a helicopter gonna do, follow me? I can just go in a tunnel. Eric: 1; Justice: 0.
I'm pretty sure Coke's new "Half as many calories" soda, C2 is just Coke and Diet Coke mixed together. But how can I prove it? Can't. Dammit.
There needs to be a facebook function that tells you all the groups you're a groupie of. Sorry, I went this long without a facebook mention and was about to explode.
And finally, I close with an open letter to the students of the University of Virginia:
Dear fellow Wahoos,
If any of you even thinks about stealing my idea to be Napoleon Dynamite for Halloween, I will track you down and challenge you to a dance-off for Napoleon Dynamite supremacy. Have I been practicing in my room every afternoon since September? What do you think?
XOXO,
Eric
Eric can be reached at Cunningham@cavalierdaily.com
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