Alright, let's see if I can make it one week without invoking Back to the Future or facebook. That first sentence doesn't count...
"Do you want to go to lil jon's?"
"Whaaaat?"
"Do you want to go to lil jon's?"
"Whaaaat?"
"Do you want to go to lil jon's?"
"Whaaaat?"
"Do you want to go to lil jon's?"
"Okayyyy"
I used to force my friends to go through that any time they'd invite me to go to Littlejohn's. I don't get invited anymore.
Last week Jay Leno announced that he will be retiring in five years and Conan O'Brien will be taking over "The Tonight Show." This is good news for: Conan, college students everywhere and comedy in general. Bad news for: Conan's height-challenged friend, Tiny Jay Leno who will have to find a new job. Or dye his hair red and become Tiny Conan O'Brien.
To magnify this good news, after I heard the word on Conan, I decided to go to the Pav to buy a celebratory bucket?/sleeve?/box? of waffle fries. When I got there, my joy was taken to new levels when I saw that Chick-fil-A has replaced their bland white fry-holders for a new, hip (and I suspect bigger) red box. Thanks Chick-fil-A, this totally makes up for every Sunday I've pressed my face up against your doors only to be met by Chik-fil-A founder S. Truett Cathy's face telling me: "Too bad, you have been denied the greatness of the waffle fries until tomorrow."
So while I was cruising the Chick-fil-A Web site (as I find myself doing more often than I'd like to admit) I found out that the state of Washington is devoid of Chick-fil-A establishments. It's also the state with the greatest reputation for it raining all the time. Coincidence? Doubt it. This is a clear case of God crying sympathy tears for those who have not been chosen to receive his sweet bounty of ridged fries.
Wow, that was a lot of stuff on how awesome Chik-fil-A is. Just to clear the air, they're not paying me to write that, it's just what I think. But if S. Truett Cathy were to give me a "Free Waffle Fries for Life" coupon or something, I wouldn't say no.
Speaking of shameless promotion, I have a statement I'd like to read...
Dear loyal readers of this column bored slackers in a 300-person lecture: Last week I got some flack for using the column to blatantly plug the facebook group WWJonD. I recognize how wrong it was to use the column to talk about the awesomeness of WWJonD. A group devoted to asking "What Would Jon Do?" has no place here. I shouldn't have mentioned WWJonD, nor should I have reiterated how awesome WWJonD is. Last week, not only did I mention WWJonD once, but careful readers will note I said "WWJonD" twice. That kind of behavior is dishonorable and flies in the face of everything that WWJonD stands for. My apologies. It shan't happen again.
Alright, back to inane journeys into meaningless commentary.
This weekend the Roots performed at U-Hall for a crowd of 3,000 fans. Good news for: Hip hop fans at U.Va. Bad news for: Me, who's still bitter they decided not to use my suggested ad campaign of "The Roots, the Roots, the Roots are on fire."
So last Wednesday The Cav Daily Focus section published a how-to guide on steam tunnels and sneaking into University buildings at night. On what I'm sure is a completely unrelated and purely coincidental note, last Friday our precious paper's News section reported on a TA being detained by police for trespassing on a Charlottesville historical site. The Cavalier Daily: Getting your TAs arrested, one article at a time.
The first of the presidential debates was held last week at the University of Miami. Color me jealous of Will Smith's second home. First Miami gets Dave Chapelle and the VMAs, and now they're hogging the presidential debates? I thought U.Va. would be a really good candidate for a debate. We've got the Jefferson thing going for us and more voter registration drives than students. I did some research and it turns out talks were actually in progress to bring Bush and Kerry to Charlottesville. Apparently the deal-breaker occurred when Coach Groh got wind of the talks and insisted the candidates ditch their normal suits and ties in exchange for orange "Debate Fever" shirts.
In a perfect world, the theme song to the show "The Amazing Race" should be "Amazing Grace." It just makes sense.
Dear USA Network,
Enough. We get it. You apparently have a limitless supply of Law & Order episodes. Please stop. Ice-T is haunting my dreams.
Sincerely,
Eric "JAG is still OK, though" Cunningham
Eric can be reached at Cunningham@cavalierdaily.com
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