The other day I walked into my house and there was an arrangement of flowers sitting in the foyer. Intrigued, I looked at the card and saw that my friend's boy had sent her flowers, for no reason, just to encourage her through a tough week. Needless to say, I was ready to call him and propose marriage. Then I realized that even though this act was entirely romantic by traditional standards, his girlfriend was just as thrilled when he called her as soon as she woke up to wish her a good day.
Then it hit me. Romance, though typically seen as a candle-lit dinner or a walk on the beach, is not necessarily that. In fact, if I were to walk on the beach with a boy, I would probably spend the majority of the time making jokes and avoiding the inherently awkward implied romance of the situation. I'd probably have to trip him, too.
I think I was supposed to be a guy. I've often wondered if I was in heaven's bathroom when God gave out the Y chromosome. I like football. I have no problem agreeing with my guy friends if a girl is hot. I don't do catty conversations. So, in light of that, I feel like my opinion on what is romantic is kinda skewed. But I've started to notice that maybe I'm not as off-the-cuff as one might think.
I would rather get a random three-line e-mail or text message on a tough day, telling me how wonderful I am, than a five-course dinner at OXO. I would rather be invited for a late-night drive after a long day of class than stare lovingly into the eyes of another over spaghetti. This might just be because I inevitably cannot eat noodles in front of a boy -- I get crap all over me.
Of course, all gestures from the heart are romantic. But I feel that so many of the clichéd ones have ruined it for guys and girls who are intimidated by the implications of flowers, cards and candy ... unless you're Usher, in which case, I take it all back and will be yours forever.
But the rest of us need to abandon the idea that the top 10 typical actions of romance are the be all and end all, and realize that there are everyday chances to love on the person you date or hope to date.
The mere fact that someone remembers you had a test that freaked you out and asks you about it afterwards is romantic. It means the person is paying attention, cares about your feelings or accomplishments and wants to show you that he is a form of support.
Remembering that you hate bourbon and ordering your special drink or keeping a bottle of your favorite wine in his fridge can be just as romantic as planning a weekend getaway to Keswick. It's the fact that these people remember the smaller things that makes them endearing. Let's face it, anyone can pick up the phone and make arrangements with a resort or a florist, but the sheer fact that she remembers your dog had surgery and cares enough to help you care for it makes her 10 times cooler than the average Jane.
Romance is knowing that if, God forbid, you have to have surgery or spend the night in the hospital, he'll be the first one in the room as soon as visitors are allowed -- after you call your mom and get your favorite pillow, of course.
It can be cookies. Flowers aren't bad either (in fact, the yellow rose of Texas is the best). Nothing is wrong with a weekend trip. If you are a traditional romantic, I don't mean to offend. But there is something wrong with thinking that if you or your significant other is freaked out by these expressions, something must be wrong with you or the relationship.
Some people by their nature are not serious, and most college-aged kids try not to be anyway. So it's no surprise that we don't ask official dates to football games like our parents did or see more forms of plant life in our sorority houses. But the good news is that doesn't mean he or she doesn't care.
We are creative people and will find other ways to get the point across. Be it a nickname, a stupid serenade on your voice mail or filling up your car with gas after he borrows it -- butterflies get stirred all the time when we are in like or in love.
So, go ahead and send the e-mail if ordering flowers seems too daunting. Ease yourself into romance. All you have to do is pay attention. And maybe she wants a walk on the beach at some point in your love affair; if you're anything like me, just suck it up and think about something sad when you want to laugh at the corniness of it all.
But in the meantime, shower that special someone with what you have in front of you. Use his or her everyday habits or feelings as a guide. Bring her Take It Away if she likes the house dressing; buy him beer for the weekend and leave it in his fridge (though I don't recommend leaving a note on it with any hearts or smiling faces for all his roommates to see).
Whatever the simple act is, you'll be an Usher to your boo. I just hope you're prepared: next thing you'll know, she's all up on ya screamin'...
Callan Blount can be reached at blount@cavalierdaily.com
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