With the exception of this one friend of mine, who I like to refer to as "God," everyone I know makes mistakes. Big ones or little ones, in math, relationships or sports, we make copious amounts of mistakes throughout our lifetime.
Everybody's doing it -- why are they such a big deal? You could say mistakes unite the human race. We all eat, breath, sleep and really screw up. Yet, despite this universal factor, instead of eternal caring and forgiveness, we hand out judgments and hold grudges. Somehow we expect those around us to understand our mistakes, but -- oh no she didn't -- we will not get over that time first year when one of our hall-mates used our hair straightener without asking or left nasty Chinese food sitting out for days.
And those are just the little grudges. That guy that cheated on you in high school, even though you only dated for a week, and said he was sorry? Let's hope you never get to decide his future. Otherwise, I'm seeing a trailer park and a wife with an amputated leg for him. The bitterness between people can become overwhelming, and it can spread to friends, acquaintances and anyone else within earshot who you can tell why whats-her-name is such a horrible, horrible person.
It's a sad way to go through life, for both the mistake maker and the grudge holder. Watch any reality television show, and you'll see that. Take "The Real World" for example. You yell at the screen, "Sarah! You stupid person, stop trying to hookup with MJ -- he doesn't like you!" But does anyone sit down with Sarah and say, "Darling, this is a mistake, and I'm going to help you fix it?" No, because Langdon's too busy being super adorable, and because it's easier to watch and comment on other people's mistakes than to help them through their problems.
I understand there's a fine line between preachy-ness and reflectiveness, and I'm walking it, but sometimes when the Browns get beat badly by the Steelers, you have to understand that mistakes will be made, and you still have to love the people that made them. And let's not mention some other football scores from last weekend.
I offer some mistake scenarios and how the new Dr. Clare thinks they should be handled:
Situation one: You're down in speed pong, and you and your partner both have balls. You shoot and make it, but he/she fumbles the ball and doesn't get the chance to kill the cup. The other team comes back and wins it all.
What you could do: Get pissed off, cross your arms and continue to drink.
What I recommend: Shake his/her hand, say best out of three and continue to drink.
Situation two: I couldn't think of a situation two that wouldn't be either too petty or too close to home to have lots of people in my 10 a.m. lecture reading. Regardless, the speed pong example should summarize the correct response for any situation in life. Ever.
Did watching "Boy Meets World" teach us nothing? Mistakes are natural, and the only way to improve your life is by making them and then learning from them. And the only way we can live happily ever after and marry our fourth grade sweethearts is to forgive people when they do make mistakes.
By the way, did anyone else think it was creepy that Mr. Feeny was Cory, Sean and Topanga's teacher for their ENTIRE educational careers? Unless any of them went to grad school, but knowing Feeny, he'd probably show up there too.
Then again, there are those "perfect" people who never seem to make a mistake. What's with them? I say, throw them out! But, since I did not create the universe, we still have to live with them. Here's their big secret: They make mistakes too! And not just like, one day they accidentally wear two clashing colors or fill in a bubble wrong on a test, but big major mistakes that mess with them just as much as anyone else. Maybe they're just better at hiding it, but they also handle their mistakes well. They learn from them, and learn from them fast.
I feel better knowing I'm not alone when I really screw up. And I feel way better knowing that the people I surround myself with understand that I am going to seriously mess up sometimes. Next time, I'll know better. If not, the time after that. One of these days I will learn my lesson, and in a couple of cases I've gone way beyond learning my lesson. Some lessons I've got tattooed on my forehead now.
Not to make this sound easy. When we really mess up, we've got to put forth a lot of effort to make things right again. No one's going to stop making mistakes, however, so we better start trying to live with each other when they happen.
If I can still be trusted with hair styling decisions after making the mistake of getting a perm my sophomore year of high school, well then, my friend, that means we can recover and grow from anything.
Clare can be reached at Ondrey@cavalierdaily.com
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