Most students probably spent this past Satur-day thinking about the upcoming Thanks-giving break or finishing that last paper before heading home. For some, however, the day held a very special meaning because it was National Adoption Day.
The idea of adoption has very different meanings for students at the University.
Second-year College student Kat Womack said she thinks discussion about adoption should be more prevalent. Having been adopted at birth, she said she would like to see more support for adopted students.
"It's hard because I don't know any other adopted people at U.Va.," Womack said. "The University should offer some sort of support system."
Last year Womack tried to start a CIO for adoption but found it very difficult to accomplish anything.
"I went to Student Council, and they said, 'Oh yeah, good idea,' but nothing ever happened," she said. "I was hoping they would at least add something about it in the weekly e-mails to students."
Womack said a support group would help students meet others who have had similar experiences.
"It is a very personal issue, so it helps to talk about it with other people instead of sitting one-on-one with a counselor," Womack said. "There are certain things that only other adopted people can understand. I wouldn't expect my everyday friends to be able to help all the time because it's something that is hard to explain to them."
A club or group would be helpful for many reasons, Womack said.
"I feel as if it's a health and mental issue," she said. "People should be aware that adoption is out there."
Having support groups at home in Northern Virginia greatly helped Womack throughout her life.
"People should be able to talk freely about it and not be ashamed," she said. "It really helps to hear from people coming from the same place as me, who know exactly what you go through in this process."
Womack points out that there seem to be clubs for everything at the University, but it is definitely lacking any support for students who have been adopted. "There are clubs for gay guys in frats, so why isn't there one for adopted people?" she asked.
Womack's roommate, second-year College student Louisa Tavlas, agrees that there should be "a solid support system for adoption."
"It's a really sensitive and important issue," Tavlas said.
"There will come a point in every adopted person's life where they feel the need to share their feelings and experiences to someone who can relate to them," she said.
Tavlas said that an organized group for adopted students sounds like a good idea.
"I feel bad when I can't relate to everything [Kat] goes through," Tavlas said. "I feel like there's only so much I can say because I have not been through anything like that."
There are, however, University students who feel differently about adoption, such as third-year College student Nancy Martin.
Adopted at age 13, Martin has a much different life story. Coming from a mixed racial background, she said she also has views on issues other than just adoption.
"I may think of it more in a racial context," she said.
Martin said she thinks being adopted later in life has given her different feelings about adoption.
"It was a completely different situation -- it was a big change," she said. "But you get through the hard things in your life."
Good things also can result from the process.
"I'm definitely a stronger person," Martin said. "I'm a little more social. The family I was adopted into had five kids, and before I was the only child, so it was a huge difference. It was definitely two different kinds of lives, economically and socially."
As a result of her adoption, Martin said she is more open to and aware of different people.
"I'm thankful, although the situation itself is kind of awful," she said.
Unlike Womack, Martin said she has met numerous other adopted students at the University.
"I've met more adopted kids here than I have ever before," she said. "Some things aren't really visible to you until they happen to you, so that may be the cause of me just being more aware. Or maybe I just know more people now because college is such a bigger, more diverse place than where I lived."Martin said unlike Womack, she does not actively seek a support system.
"I don't feel the need," she said."Other kids may have had different experiences, though, so it would be good for them."
Martin said she understands the need for support.
"It's good to know somebody who's had the same experience as yours," she said.
She also agreed with Womack that there seems to be a lack of awareness at the University."I've never heard of anything," she said. "I feel like if other people want awareness, like a club, it would be a cool idea. I don't think I would personally join that because it's not something that is a huge part of my life. I'm highly into community service, so I put more effort into that than I would a support group."
Martin said that in her experience, people usually seem to want to know more about adoption.
"Usually people are very curious ... and they are really cautious, like, 'Can I ask you this question?' And that's good," she said. "I'm laid back, so I don't mind."
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