Working over Thanksgiving Break is a joke. We all pretend we're going to do it, but then you end up watching every movie on cable. Seriously, TBS, USA, FX and Comedy Central, you need to stop subverting my studies. Please refrain from showing irresistible films during school breaks.
On a completely unrelated note, if any of my professors or TAs are reading this, can I have an extension on... everything?
But this weekend wasn't just about putting off schoolwork and watching "Groundhog's Day" for the millionth time. I swear, everyone here seems to be having some sort of football amnesia. No one wants to fess up that we lost. "Hey man, how was your break?"
"It was pretty good. Thursday was Thanksgiving, Friday I chilled at home, Saturday... Saturday absolutely nothing happened whatsoever and we won't talk about it and Sunday I came back to U.Va."
The two weeks between Thanksgiving break and winter break are nothing more than an illusion. Professors know we're not paying attention in class anymore, and students spend their lives in Alderman pretending to write papers, but actually spending their time finding new and creative ways to indicate they're working on their away messages. Or at least that's what I end up doing. I put way too much mental effort into away messages.
Over break my family and I went to have a nice meal at a little place called "Country Cookin." Basically it's a buffet-style restaurant, except that for some reason the place has an army of waiters and waitresses. It boggled me how a person's job philosophy could consist entirely of saying, "Well, sounds good. Go get it yourself."
Back to the randomness...
So apparently Julia Roberts gave birth to a set of twins this week, one girl and one boy. Part of me secretly hopes she'll continue the trend of weird celebrity baby naming and go with "Julia" and "Robert."
Will Ferrell, Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Luke Wilson and Vince Vaughn together unite their power to form the ultimate comedy brat pack of the 21st century. Team Awesome's accomplishments: "Zoolander," "Starsky & Hutch," "Bottle Rocket," "Old School," "Dodgeball," "Anchorman." It's interesting to notice that not one movie has all five of these megastars. If it did, I'm sure the comedy would be so intense, theaters across America would burst into flames. Will Ferrell enthusiasts will note that Anchorman was one Wilson brother away from the fivefecta.
To the surprise of anyone who's ever used ISIS, this year there have been almost no reports of outages or the dreaded "too many users" message. Things seem to be running smoothly. I guess that means we'll all have to channel our hatred into a different, more deserving target: Echols kids. You're the reason I can't get into American Society and Popular Culture! It's your fault my columns are conspicuously Paris Hilton and Ashlee Simpson-free. How do you live with yourself?
Sometimes I think I'm the only one who uses the phrase "WTF?" in day-to-day conversation.
With the Krispy Kreme closed and Bodo's never coming to the Corner, I'm disappointed with Charlottesville's selection of curved breads.
Recently the Department of Homeland Security announced it's going to beef up its Canadian border patrols at a significant cost, in order to stop terrorists who are apparently coming to America to replace the Democrats who fled to our northern neighbor after last month's election. In any case, it seems silly to spend so much money on border patrols. Wouldn't it just be easier to adopt our neighboring countries as states? Mexico can be "Old Mexico" and Canada can be "Diet America." Not to mention, printing and selling new flags with 52 stars is gonna bring a big boost to our economy. Yeah, the U.S. should definitely switch to a flag-based economy.
Snickers isn't nearly as funny as its name would imply.
Between Dan Rather stepping down from CBS Nightly News and Tom Brokaw also leaving NBC's anchor desk, our news leaders are dropping like flies. Jon Stewart: The time for action is now. I demand to see Stephen Colbert at White House press conferences.
I've been in school for 16-odd years now, and frankly, there's still nothing funnier than the horizontal chalk line that forms on someone's ass from leaning up against the blackboard. Why does no one else still laugh at this?
Well, if you'll excuse me, it has come to my attention that the "Who's the Boss" series has been released on DVD. If you need to find me, I'll be anxiously footing around Best Buy until they open. I mean, "finishing up all the stuff I was working on over break."
Ah, my dear grandma Mona, your sass and quick wit has ensured that we all now know that you are the boss.
Eric Cunningham is a Cavalier Daily columnist.
Read More
It’s okay not to be okay
By Mai Hukuoka | 2 days agoWhether talking to a friend, a loved one or a professional, it is so necessary, and human, to need more than you can provide for yourself.
Taking a break at Tangerines Kitchen
By Charley Thomas | 4 days agoWhat the restaurant somewhat lacks in ambiance, it compensates for in tasty dishes and prompt service.
Virginia Policy Lab — a hub for student-led policy action
By Katherine Haden | December 9, 2024Students propose their own projects and collaborate with other members to research their issues of interest, brainstorm solutions and write policy proposals.
