First year is a time of myriad experiences, a time in which students meet countless other students, all coping and adjusting, all on the threshold of the four-year-long, life-changing experience that is college.
Meeting so many people can be overwhelming and exhilarating at the same time because with each new face comes the potential to make a new best friend or a new love interest -- or maybe even both. The capacity for both love and friendship, though, skews boundaries and makes it difficult to decide whether two people are friends, more than friends, friends who were once in a relationship or bitter enemies.
Is it possible to go back to friendship if the initial spark between two people was romantic?
Three years ago, fourth-year College students Carrie Pearson and Dustin Lubertazzi were in the same boat, in the same dorm -- essentially in the same situation.
"We met on move-in day through a roommate connection and have been best friends ever since," Pearson said.
Well, not quite.
"We actually dated from the first week we knew each other," Lubertazzi said.
Their romantic relationship, however, did not see many trips to Arch's or late-night rendezvous in dorm rooms, because the couple soon had a "big fight about the relationship" and stopped talking for a while. An overlapping social scene and mutual friends soon thawed the icy relationship, however, and opened up communication, which soon caused the two to become best friends.
"Becoming friends again was inevitable," Lubertazzi said. "Since we were part of the same social circle, we had to hang out."
The "ex" couple never discussed what was responsible for their break up. Lubertazzi joked that three years later, "We should probably talk about that."
Could this ambiguity potentially bring the friends closer? Is steamy romance -- or even marriage -- on the horizon?
"Absolutely not," Pearson laughed. "We could never date or anything because we fight like cats and dogs."
Demetri Tavoulareas, a third-year College student, has a different perspective.
"I was kind of serious with this girl a little while ago, and we dated for a little bit and then broke up on okay terms," Tavoulareas said. "The end wasn't really messy, but it was kind of hard because we both still liked each other but couldn't stay together because we were looking for different things in the relationship. We both wanted to have something fun and low- key, but it was hard to communicate what that meant. I didn't think there would be a problem as far as staying friends and all."
Unlike Lubertazzi and Pearson, Tavoulareas was unable to keep up a friendship after the breakup.
"I actually hung out with my ex the summer after we broke up, but we stopped talking afterwards," he said.
Tavoulareas is unsure of the reason for the break in the friendship, but he thinks it has something to do with the fact that both he and his ex were attracted to each other.
"There was a bunch of sexual tension when we would hang out, and we knew we couldn't really act on it," Tavoulareas said. "We broke up because we were both looking for really different things in each other when we were dating, so hooking up would bring all of that stuff back, you know?"
Pearson and Lubertazzi probably wouldn't know what Tavoulareas is talking about.
During their second year, they continued to spend time together, proving that it is possible to maintain a friendship even if your initial interaction with someone was a romantic one. For these friends, even spending a laid-back Valentine's Day together sans sexual tension and awkwardness was feasible.
"We watched 'Zoolander' and just hung out with some friends since we didn't have any romantic interests at the time," Pearson said.
When romance does arise, though, Pearson and Lubertazzi said they give each other girl and guy advice and help each other out when needed. They said they are both understanding and give each other time and space to share with their new significant other. They also give each other a view from the "other side," offering nuggets of wisdom that only the male or female perspective can offer. And, when a fight arises in their new relationships, they always take each others' side.
"We have a good mutual understanding of each other, and we help each other out when we can," Lubertazzi said.
During hard times, Pearson and Lubertazzi are there for each other. "Our third year, Dustin and I both lived at our fraternity and sorority houses which were right next door to each other, and he would be my saving grace at three in the morning when I was upset and needed a shoulder to cry on," Pearson said.
Tavoulareas, on the other hand, has completely lost contact with his ex. Both he and his ex have erased all remnants of their relationship, going so far as to get rid of each other's photographs.
When Pearson and Lubertazzi are not attached to anyone, they sometimes keep a lookout on each other's behalf, scoping out potential dates.
Both friends also try to "help if we can, or set each other up, although sometimes I'm a little overprotective," Lubertazzi explained.
Hooking each other up, though, is not a huge priority.
"If there's a cute girl I know that I think Dustin would like, maybe I'll try to set her up with him, or if one of my friends has a crush on Dustin or needs a date to a date function, I'll set them up, but I'm not running around trying to find girls for him," Pearson said. "After all, he does just fine on his own."
The friends also serve as backup dates for date functions and said they always have a great time, even if some of the night gets a little shady at times.
"Sometimes people think we're dating because we'll be having such a good time at date functions," Pearson said.
Although Lubertazzi and Pearson insist they're just friends, lookers on, including professors, are sometimes skeptical.
"If we take the same classes, our teachers think we're dating," Pearson said. "It's weird, we're always like, 'No, we're just friends!'"
With graduation speedily approaching, some friends may have qualms concerning how long their friendship will last, or if keeping in touch regularly will be feasible once they go their separate ways, but not these friends.
"With Carrie, I'm not really worried about whether we'll keep in touch after graduation," Lubertazzi said. "We just have one of those friendships where you know it's going to be like it always has been, and graduation is not going to change that."
Even long after graduation, they said they will continue to get together and talk regularly. If they don't see each other as often as they do now, their friendship definitely will not suffer. After all, after so many shared experiences, phone calls, lunches and dinners, nights out and horizon-broadening conversations, they both agreed that their friendship can only get better.
"We'll definitely be at each other's weddings!" Pearson said.
Other exes, though, are not so close.
"I'll be surprised if I ever talk to my ex again," Tavoulareas said.
Lubertazzi and Pearson said they debunk the notion that "you definitely can't go back to 'just friends's after having dated." As long as all thoughts or chances of romance are absent, the pair says "a friendship after dating is definitely possible, especially if the relationship wasn't too intense and if it didn't last for too long."
In contrast to Lubertazzi and Pearson, Tavoulareas said he believes friendship after dating is almost impossible.
"Staying friends will never work if one person, or both people, has feelings for each other," he said. "Basically, the relationship has to be totally platonic, which is kind of hard, because if the people had the capacity to be in a romantic relationship in the first place, I guess that remnants of that romance will always be there. I've never been able to stay friends with the girls I have dated in the past, especially if we started dating before we really became friends. I've tried to make it work sometimes, but it never really does. It kind of sucks, but I just put that person in the past."
Lubertazzi and Pearson definitely don't have that problem.
As Pearson's best friend, fourth-year College student Erica Lancaster said, "Dustin and Carrie are the guy and girl version of each other."
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