When I finally went to bed on Thursday night, I had no idea that I would wake up the next morning with the flu. Sure, I felt a little run-down after the long day, but that did not seem unusual considering my hectic schedule and late-night study habits.
Understandably, the shock I received upon waking up to find myself feverish, aching, and miserable was surprisingly unwelcome. Completely at a loss to describe my present ailments, I stumbled out of my room and looked at myself in the bathroom mirror. A pained and exhausted face peered back at me in the glass, and closing my eyes, I fought the urge just to go back to bed, thinking that maybe I could sleep it off. However, once I got back into bed, my throbbing head made me reconsider my choice. Finally, annoyed and unsure of what I had, I resolved to call Student Health for my first, although probably not last, appointment of the semester.
Even at 8:30 in the morning, my call was answered not by a receptionist, but by an annoying, repetitive message that continuously advised me to "please bring my insurance card" with me when I came in for my appointment. As I was about to hang up the phone in frustration (considering that the monotone message was contributing further to my headache), I was finally connected with a human being. However, I continued to find myself equally irritated with questions about my telephone number and address. Because I'm somewhat of a regular at Student Health (I have gone at least once a semester ever since my first year), I always wonder why they do not remember me. I managed, though, to mumble the expected answers to her questions and agreed to a 9:20 a.m. appointment. I did this, of course, without looking at the clock to see that it was already 9 a.m. Knowing from experience that I would have to get there before my appointment time in order to fill out the generic pink sheet of paper stating my reasons for coming (despite having already explained them to the receptionist), I hurriedly threwon some clothes and ran out the door.
Somehow, I ended up making my way down to Student Health with about five layers of clothes on and about 10 minutes to spare. Quickly turning the familiar left toward General Medicine, I reached the receptionist desk, took my little pink slip and proceeded to sit for 15 minutes. I amused myself during this extended period by counting how many times the individuals around me coughed, and was up to about 80 and almost lulled to sleep when I finally heard my name.
The nurse led me to a room and went through the regular procedure of taking blood pressure and checking temperature.
"Congratulations," she said. "You win the prize for having the highest temperature of all the patients today."
Not exactly a contest I was intent on winning. I stared blankly at the thermometer, my eyes passing over the numbers 102.9, while the concerned nurse ran out to get me a bottle of 7-Up and graham crackers. Having had nothing to eat or drink before I left my suite, the unappealing graham crackers remained untouched, although I politely sipped on the soft drink while pondering my upcoming diagnosis.
Shortly thereafter, Dr. Lilly Hargrove entered the room, took one look at me and ran a test for the flu. The results came in, much to my dismay, in the affirmative: I was sentenced to a week of bedrest and misery. After having the flu my first year at the University, I was determined to find out why I was subjected to it again. Was it because I did not get my flu shot this year, like the majority of the country?
"Actually," Hargrove said, "I've seen quite a few individuals contract the flu despite having gotten the shot. Not a majority of students, but still a significant amount. And many times, like in your case, students aren't aware of the symptoms beforehand because the flu comes on so fast."
Given the option whether to go with Theraflu or its genetic counterpart, Amantadine, (which, Hargrove pointed out to me, was approximately $30 cheaper), I erred in favor of my skimpy wallet. That's one of the best facets of Student Health--at any other doctor's office they would have slapped me with the burden of the name-brand drug without offering me the option. Plus, I bought aspirin there for $1.60.
After my appointment was over, I realized that they were not kidding me about receiving a prize, albeit a strange one. The nurse gave me a bright yellow surgical mask to wear out in public to prevent others from catching my illness. This, despite my sickened stupor, at least provided me with some amusement because of people's reactions to it. The looks on some of their faces were priceless, ranging from sympathy to downright disgust. However, after waiting 25 minutes for my prescription to be filled, the sight of my mask was downplayed when three other individuals entered the waiting room wearing ones just like it. They must have had high temperatures, too.
Finally arriving home, I automatically popped open the pills and went to town. Sudafed, aspirin, Amantadine, Allegra, vitamins...you name it, and I have it. After organizing my smorgasbord of medications, I did what the average student would do upon arriving home: check my e-mail. Upon scrolling the list of the e-mails I received, my eyes fell upon an ironic heading, "Influenza Alert." Quickly opening the e-mail, I read the words written by Dr. James C. Turner stating that "the influenza epidemic has arrived with a vengeance. The Elson Student Health Center is experiencing an influx of students who have been diagnosed with the flu--106 cases in seven days."
Thanks for the warning, I thought. So now I've joined the ranks at No. 107.
After spending my weekend, and the beginning of this week in flu hell, in hopes of making others' lives easier as they are suffering with various illnesses, I have compiled a list of commonly committed acts to avoid when you are sick:
1) Do not attempt to send the remaining Ramen noodles (your dinner diet for the next four days) in your bowl down the bathroom drain. No matter how small they appear to be, don't be fooled -- you will have to remove them if you try.
2) Try to remember which tissues you've already used. Enough said.
3) Observe and follow the color guidelines set up by the folks who patented DayQuil and NyQuil: orange=ongoing activity, green=no way are you staying awake.
4) If you have to throw up, remember not to grab a wicker trash can.
5) Don't hold meaningful Instant Messenger conversations when highly medicated.
6) Remember: weekends + partying + alcohol = a good time, but weekends + alcohol + partying + flu = a hangover you won't want to wake up to.
7) Just because your fever is making you hot, finishing off that last container of Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream in the freezer might not be the best idea.
Happy pill-popping, all.
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