Hi, reader. Nice to meet you. We'd like to take a few lines of print to introduce ourselves and our column. Here are the stats: Megan Fanale is a third-year Comm-ie, and Meghan Moran is a third-year English major. This column will attempt to tackle issues of co-ed University life in a fresh, funny and gender-neutral way. So grab a seat, sit back and ask the bartender to "make it a double..."
While many of you basked on the beach just a week ago over Spring Break, guzzling down the alcoholic perks of an all-inclusive hotel package, we spent some time at a serious, intellectual event. It was a high profile book-signing, full of blazer-bedecked men with square-rimmed glasses and cardigan-swathed ladies. Sike. It was a book-signing for "He's Just Not That Into You" -- the recent pop-culture hit by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, formerly of the "Sex and the City" writing staff -- and there were ladies all right, but they weren't exactly what you'd call "bookish."
Wait. Don't stop reading. We know this book is old news -- especially for all you "SATC" fans who probably adopted the phrase "he's just not that into you" the second it hit HBO airwaves as part of a season-six episode. But what is new is what this seemingly simple phrase has evolved into.
"He's just not that into you," is, for some, much more than a tagline from a book; more than a statement of tough love or a moment of revelation. For the women who waited oh-so-patiently for Greg and Liz to sit atop their Plexi-glass stools and preach the truth, "he's just not that into you" is a way of life.
Greg and Liz began the meet-and-greet by dishing out the following disclaimer: "We are not professionals or therapists," they said in so many words. "We are people just like you, who got fed up with wasting way too much time over-analyzing relationships that weren't meant to be from day one."
Despite this admission, the two soon were bombarded with questions and comments from audience members who behaved like the believers of some new relationship religion, eager to lap up lessons on love. What began as a piece of witty sitcom dialogue had become, for some, a life-changing philosophy.
The women who gathered in the lime-green-and-coral-splashed signing locale -- smack dab in the middle of Nordstrom's juniors department -- were of all shapes, sizes and styles.
To our right was a successful 20-something in a tailored suit and knee-high boots. Her hair was pulled back into a sleek ponytail, and the look on her face said, "Don't mess with me or my real Gucci purse." To our left stood a petite, 40-something mother of three with a curly bob to match a bubbly demeanor.
As Greg and Liz took comments from the crowd, some women spoke with fervor of epiphanies: the first time they told off that just-not-that-into-them man who called a day too late, the wake-up call of receiving four copies of the book for Christmas, even the pleasant discovery that their man was actually really into them. Awwwww....
Like we said, this book is approaching Gideon-Bible status for some -- one in every hotel bedside table's drawer! That might be taking it too far. But honestly, a shopper passing by the white curtains hung to create a semi-private setting for the signing might have assumed otherwise.
At times, the language became borderline spiritual. We're talking 12-step program rhetoric. Just-not-that-into-you converts spoke of taking it day by day, experiencing a new way of life, seeing the light. As one woman raised her hand to share a success story, co-author Liz shouted, somewhat tongue-in-cheek, "A testimonial!"
A few women spoke to the independent-girl gurus Greg and Liz on behalf of friends still living in sin: that dark world of week-old answering machine messages, sporadic dates and wilted roses. Like missionaries, they sought to reach their poor friends, to save them from a hell of mixed signals and sub-par love.
We know what you may be thinking. Why all the mocking? You two were there, after all. Aren't you just as bad as all of them -- seeking salvation in a six-word dating caveat? You're partially right. We do think this book will save us all from many wasted hours spent obsessing over guys and girls with different hang-ups and hold-ups. But, it is a mistake to view "he's just not that into you" as the answer or its authors as those who have all the answers.
"He's just not that into you" is a catch phrase, a cute title and a coping mechanism for all those swimming through a dating sea filled with waves of confusion. It is a great answer for many questions, but it should not serve as an absolute.
And Greg and Liz don't make it out to be one. The authors were quick to point out that the phrase has its Achilles heel(s). For instance, the two were humbly stumped by the age-old quandary of blurred lines between friends and lovers -- the ambiguous realm of male-female flirtation that has perplexed both sexes since biblical times ...or at least for a very long time.
Don't take what we've said here the wrong way. This book has done great things, and its success has inspired many women to ditch their dud dudes, end the analysis and embrace their fabulous selves. However, like so many idioms -- the ranks of which "he's just not..." seems destined to join -- this clever catch phrase is not a catchall or a cure-all. That guy or girl who seems just somewhat into you will still be on your mind, and you'll still check the cell phone messages to see if he or she had called. You just might think twice about how many times.
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