She calls you when she's out at bars and doesn't see you around. You are always welcome at her apartment when you have nothing to do. You are her number-one guy, as long as there is no boyfriend in the picture.
You can crash at her place if the walk from the Corner is too much to handle. You are good buds, even partners in crime. Her mom knows your name from every conversation since first year. You grace at least a quarter of her pictures in the same pose, different outfit. Years of you and her are documented in notes, IMs, emails, gifts, pictures, comments, laughs, etc. She knows where you hide important stuff so she can leave you notes and surprise you when you look for your passport. She surreptitiously steals stuff to piss you off -- she loves the way you freak out so easily.
She almost knows your home address by heart for all the times she wrote you summer notes or thanked your parents for dinner when they came to the 'Ville. She claims she knows not one phone number since she went wireless in 1998, but you just watched her write yours down to give to her friends in case they lose you at the concert.
Ever since you and your girlfriend broke up, you have been able to depend on her to back you up in the midst of slander. She's your girl, your backup date in case you become stag on Friday night or just forgot to ask. And you know she'll be ready in an hour ... with heels on. She's beautiful, too.
She'll never complain about being underappreciated about this either, because you understand each other too well to get angry over absentmindedness or bad planning. In fact, the two of you have attended so many functions, you wonder if she has noticed you only have one pair of dress pants and three nice shirts on rotation. Essentially, you are date-function dating, but neither she, nor you, seem to be bothered by it.
None of your buddies are surprised when you answer "so and so" when they inquire about whom you are bringing out for the night. But they never give you flak about it -- it's not like you're dating her and whipped.
Or, are you?
Truth is, when you walk her to the door, you wonder if maybe this time there's even a chance that things could end up differently tonight. Instead, at the last second, as you lean in to hug her and hope for more, you freak out, throw a soft punch, maybe even make a comment that she doesn't smell so bad after a whole night of smoke-filled bars and dancing, send her inside and kick yourself the whole way home.
Yeah, you wanted to hook up, but it's never just that with her. Sure, she's hot, but the first time you met her you saw more than that. So it happened: She became your number-one gal friend. But now you wish you could take it back and hit on her from day one, because all of a sudden it hit you that you like her more than Seth likes Marissa. Yet, the line of friendship seems chiseled in stone -- the hill has been climbed, and there's no turning back.
If you haven't learned this lesson yet or seen "When Harry Met Sally," I hate to be the one to tell you. It's that part of the story that never gets told. A lesson, if you will, about what exactly we can expect from one another.
Guys and girls, at this point in their lives, cannot be just best friends.
Take it from every television show we grew up on. Every single character in the original "Saved by the Bell" cast hooked up with a friend at least once in the show's 10-year run. Joey and Pacey were originally buddies and ended up together in their twenties.
One of the parties always ends up expecting more from the relationship. Or, one night you get tanked, end up at her house as always, the screen goes to fuzz, and you wake up with a new crinkle in the relationship shirt. You have hooked up with your number one guy/gal and don't know what the hell to do. Part of you wants to go for it; the other is scared to death. What if you try it and it doesn't work out? Could you handle losing her in your life? But can you live with the unknown? The wondering?
So, is the next time you walk her home going to be the moment? Don't look to me for the definite answer. All I know is that if two people who meet, click, enjoy one another's company and one day suddenly want to make out don't give it a shot, the wondering and kicking yourself will be even more frustrating and detrimental to the relationship than an actual break up. Plus, she's like totally hot, man.
But if you don't want my advice (or know my dating situation), just look to Harry and Sally. Beyond the bad hair and '80s clothing, I'd say they did pretty well for themselves.
Callan can be reached at blount@cavalierdaily.com.
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