Third-year Engineering student Jacosta Silvers has morning sickness, and she doesn't expect it to end any time soon. When she delivers her baby next semester, Silvers will be one of very few undergraduate women at the University whose extracurricular activities include motherhood.
The exact number of undergraduate women with children is unknown. But if Senior Dean of Students Shamin Sission had to guess, she said she would estimate fewer than 20 traditionally-aged undergraduate women currently have children.
For about two years, Sisson has overseen the Students with Children program in the Office of Student Life, which began six or seven years ago to provide resources and assistance to students with children.
"What we do is try to connect students who are parents with resources at the University and in the community and -- to the extent that it's helpful -- with each other," Sisson said.
The program is "particularly interested" in helping undergrads, who may face more challenges than graduate students.
"It's hard to be a part time [undergraduate] student or to schedule your classes necessarily around childcare," she said.
One possible source of childcare, which Sisson highly recommended, is the student-run CIO Undergraduate Babysitters. Its president, third-year College student Esther Brown, said the organization's purpose is "to give student-parents some time off so they can do whatever they need to do."
The approximately 70 undergraduate babysitters who participate in the organization dedicate three or four hours each week offering free babysitting services to around 50 families in which at least one parent is a University student. The vast majority of those served by the organization are graduate students, Brown said.
Support from fellow students and other community members is crucial to minimize stress during a pregnancy, according to Silvers, who is expecting a baby in late October.
Silvers married her husband in January 2004, after they had been together for four years, and said being a married undergrad can be stressful, even without children. Although she lives in University housing during the academic year, she and her husband have a house in Portsmouth, Va. where he is stationed for the military, and she tries to go home every weekend.
"We were already moving in the direction of marriage, so we just decided, what's holding us back?" she said.
After they were married, Silvers decided to have a child because her husband had been "asking for a child for about forever," but soon changed her mind because of school-related concerns. After she had reconsidered, however, it was too late -- she already was pregnant. Once she found out, she said she never considered abortion.
"Honestly, I could see no reason to abort a child regardless of my circumstances," she said. "Even if I wasn't married or things just hadn't worked out as planned, I couldn't see ending a child's life because of something I did."
One of her first steps after becoming pregnant was breaking the news to her husband.
"He sounded like he was about to turn a cartwheel when I told him," she said.
Her mother was initially less enthusiastic.
"The first thing [my mother] said to me, was, 'Okay, what about school?' and I would expect that, so I told her basically how I had planned to finish school and which semester I would be taking off," Silvers said. "Then she said, 'Okay, congratulations.'"
Silvers also shared the news with many of her friends, and she said they all have been supportive and excited for her, especially because they know she already has a home and a husband.
"Had I been somebody who was single or didn't know exactly what direction I was going in, then they probably would have been a bit nervous about me having a child," she said.
Because her due date falls mid-semester, Silvers said she probably will miss both the fall 2005 and spring 2006 semesters, although her plans are not finalized. Even though she will not graduate within four years, Silvers said graduating behind schedule is a small sacrifice to make in comparison to the joy of being a mother.
"At first I wasn't too thrilled, but you know what, I'm going to be bringing another life into this world," she said. "I have a little person inside of me. It's just beautiful, and we're doing it inside the bounds of marriage. It's not like we're scared to death and don't know what's going to happen."
Knowing exactly what to expect is difficult, however, because Silvers doesn't know any other University undergrads with children, "which is kind of strange," she said.
One of the few women already balancing schoolwork with motherhood is third-year College student Emily Moser. Moser learned she was pregnant about a year ago, after having been with her boyfriend, who is not a student, for a little over half a year.
The couple lives together with their baby, Devin, in an apartment near Brandon Avenue. Although they are not married, Moser said she thinks they will be in the future, but they "didn't want to rush it."
"We didn't want to get married just because we were having a baby," she said. "That doesn't work. We've seen it not work."
Even though the pregnancy was unplanned, Moser said she knew she wanted to keep the baby because she had already had an abortion in January of the same year and wouldn't do it again.
"I wouldn't say that I was traumatized -- I don't think about it a lot," she said. "It hasn't really ruined my life or anything, but it was a hard decision, and it really strained our relationship more than anything because he didn't want me to get an abortion and I wanted to be able to finish school."
Although the decision to have an abortion was difficult, Moser said it has become even more difficult with time because she sees how "wonderful" her baby is. Still, she doesn't regret her earlier decision because it allowed her to finish school in three years.
"It's over with, so I'm not going to dwell on it," she said.
After her abortion, Moser said she and her boyfriend continued not to use contraception, possibly as a means of mending their relationship.
"Maybe that's why I got pregnant again because we really wanted a kid," she said.
Her parents have had mixed reactions to her choices. Her father encouraged her first abortion and thought she should have had a second, but her mom has been "really supportive."
"My mom was really excited, and she's really happy to have a grandson, and my dad's coming around -- I think he'll come around," Moser said. "My mom's like, 'Oh, I love [Devin],' and my dad didn't want me to have a baby. He wanted me to do this and do that, to study and go to grad school and be I don't know what
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