Every time I see the "Thefts have been reported" sign in Alderman it just makes me want to steal that sign, purely for the irony.
Apparently the facebook has added a "My Parties" function, designed to facilitate party invitations, get-togethers and other goings-on. I'm sorry, but having people interact with each other in real life is precisely the opposite of everything the facebook stands for. Mark Zuckerberg, I strongly urge you to reconsider.
You can totally look directly at the sun without going blind -- don't believe the hype. That's the first thing I did when I heard you couldn't. I received mild corneal damage at best, my doctor said.
"Starbursts" should not be called "Starbursts." The bright colors and energetic packaging indicate that they are clearly a daytime candy.
I'd like to rig a contraption to my body monitoring my life signs at all times. Then the moment my life comes to a close, I'd have the machine play the song that plays whenever Mario dies in the original Nintendo game. And if at all possible, have that Duck Hunt dog giggle, too.
Damn that dog.
Last week was my one-year facebook anniversary. I celebrated by not going out or being with friends.
Fact: There is nothing more spine-tinglingly weird than the feeling of an old semi-inflated latex balloon shriveling when you touch it.
If that joke didn't quite resonate with you, then it was probably because you focused too much on the word "spine-tinglingly." You're right. It's totally not a word.
I bet Rachel Dratch gets pissed that she's always playing the least attractive characters on SNL.
Seeing how sunglasses look on you is virtually impossible. If you look into a mirror, everything is tinted so you can't see how other people see you. You can only see how other people see you if they, too, were wearing sunglasses.
Recently the Gus Blagden committee announced the selection of Matthew Allen as next year's resident of "The Good Guy Room" on the Lawn. I would think that lends itself to a tremendous amount of pressure.
"Hey, Matt, can you give me a ride over to Barracks?"
"Sorry, I've got three term papers and I-"
"Really?Well, what would Gus Blagden do?" :::taps Good Guy plaque:::
Here's a fun one: Next time you're on a long elevator ride with only one other person, start whistling Aerosmith's "Love in an Elevator." Immerse yourself in the ensuing awkwardness.
It was also announced recently that the new O-Hill would have its opening delayed until August amid concerns about the building's safety. I, for one, am glad. It's given me the opportunity to spend my summer camping out in front of the front entrance to be one of the first people to grace the establishment. Who's with me?We could get orange "O-Hill Fever" shirts, write "EMPSU" on our chests, do the whole thing. And if we're lucky, maybe Dean will come out and give us some pizza.
Part of me hoped the series "24" would have had an episode revolve around Daylight Savings Time. Have the show start out with:
"The following takes place between 2 a.m. and 3 a.m.
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