While there are many excellent attributes to the University itself, the most important thing I have learned in my two years at the University has implications that reach beyond the college experience. The skill which I have learned here that I have come to value the most is the capacity to cope with setbacks and disappointments. These setbacks can take many forms as one goes through the college experience -- being fired from a job; a bad grade -- and arise almost inevitably. The key is to learn to deal with these setbacks, take positive lessons form them and move on.
Mistakes can have far-reaching consequences when one reaches college age. This is because society expects much more of eighteen year olds than it does of those of younger ages. Eighteen is the age society considers the beginning of adulthood, and with this status comes incredible responsibility. Your actions can have profound consequences for the future. Society is often willing to make allowance for lapses in youths that it refuses to make for adults. However, there is a sort of disjunction that arises here: Students also lack the judgment and maturity of older adults. Hence it is extremely easy to land in serious trouble at this age.
Eighteen is also an age at which many students have great expectations for the future. Yet it is a further unfortunate circumstance that these expectations will often lead to disappointment. Both the job market and the classroom can be unforgiving. You will soon discover that the job market and the classroom at this age serve as mechanisms for society to separate the wheat from the chaff: a process of selection is occurring. This process is inherent in any social system which, like ours, is founded on the concepts of private property and the market. Students will be graded and evaluated, and some will not measure up.
The University, as one of the top colleges in the nation, provides an especially challenging environment for students to get ahead. From the UniversityGuide Service to positions in student government to internships, many valued positions are subject to a competitive selection process. Many students will start interacting in a serious way with the job market, and some incoming students will struggle with college-level work where they thrived on high school-level work. This is because students at the University tend to be much more skilled than the average high school student. The competitive atmosphere fostered at the University is one of its greatest assets, as it creates an environment where achievement is encouraged and celebrated. This can also lead to frustrating moments, however, as students struggle to keep up.
The key to this entire process is being able to accept failure when it comes. We have all heard the inspirational stories centered on this theme -- Einstein failing math class, for instance. But the underlying message of these fables is true: Disappointment is part of the human condition. Despite what you may believe, you cannot be whatever you want. People have different talents and abilities, and you will have to pursue a field of specialization. This process is inherently limiting, but necessary.
Inherent in the process of dealing with failure is an appreciation of the limits of one's own power. Accepting setbacks involves accepting one's own shortcomings and imperfections. It means being able to accept your own capacity to fail -- and inability to fundamentally alter the world. This is a very difficult lesson for most of us to accept, especially idealistic eighteen-year olds. No amount of pleading, however, will change a C to a B. There are some mistakes whose consequences you cannot avoid. The key is to have humility about the situation and recognize that there are some battles you should not fight and cannot win. The power is in your hands to acknowledge setbacks when they occur and build something positive from them.
But more than this, humility is a valuable lesson to learn generally. It is a necessary quality in order to live together peaceably in society. The worst excesses in human history have occurred when we lose sight of the fundamental fact that human beings are imperfect and cannot be molded into whatever form we would like. Just as we must learn to accept our own shortcomings, we must learn to accept them in others.
In the end, not everyone will find what they are looking for. While being able to accept setbacks makes life easier, it will not guarantee a successful future. The cold fact is that not everyone who comes through the University turns into a happy and successful adult. The University does not hold its students' hands, but if you come in with a positive attitude the University provides a tremendous opportunity to build a happy future.
Noah Peters is a Cavalier Daily columnist. He can be reached at npeters@cavalierdaily.com
Read More
PATEL: Personal development courses support students beyond the gradebook
By Heer Patel | 4 days agoThe University must rethink its approach to education beyond traditional major-specific requirements and mandate personal development courses.
EDITORIAL: Commercialization threatens U.Va.’s educational mission
By Editorial Board | 5 days agoAfter all, measuring the University’s worth in terms of accrued capital, operational efficiency and numerical rankings molds this space into just another cookie-cutter institution.
YOUNIS: Why every U.Va. student should say yes to English
By Ayat Younis | January 9, 2025Every student at the University, regardless of their primary field of study, can professionally and academically benefit from engaging with the English department.
