Some say there is a "Seinfeld" reference to match every situation in our real lives. These people are right. So, our column today will begin with a classic Costanza: "There is relationship George, and there is independent George. ... you are killing independent George! A George divided against itself ... cannot stand!"
George raises the interesting point of the two worlds when Elaine takes an interest in becoming friends with his significant other (S.O.), Susan. George doesn't want his girlfriend to mix with his friends. He feels that in order to maintain a successful relationship and a happy life, he needs to have two separate worlds: the world of his friends and the world of his girlfriend.
But this is George Costanza we're talking about. While a two-worlds policy may sound convenient and simple, it is unfortunately impossible. For a college student, friends are your world: They are your social life, your therapists, your roommates and oftentimes as close as family.
This being said, it's extremely hard to keep your S.O. from getting to know them. Inevitably, independent college student and relationship college student will meet. Here's where things may get messy.
First let us say that they may not get messy. There's the possibility that your SO and your BFFs will mesh like gin and tonic; 2 a.m. and Littlejohn's, caffeine and Clemons. It would be great if he'd laugh rather than leer when he walked in on your roommates glued to "The O.C." If she smiled rather than smirked at your besotted buddy who greets her, not with a handshake, but a bear hug outside Bilt.
It's ideal when your friends "get" your S.O. -- when you leave the room for a few only to return and find her debating "Coke vs. Pepsi" with the friend you've had since first grade. You know it's "working" when you tell him there's no way you're paying to see "Marky Mark" act, so he makes plans to catch "Four Brothers" with your Mark-Wahlberg-obsessed roommate on opening night.
As much as George would cringe to hear it, the independent world and the relationship world will collide in college, for better or worse. And for those of us who would actually like for our "selves" to meet, having friends who are friendly with a S.O. is very important. And a situation in which things in the bedroom are hot but things with friends are cold can be very devastating.
So, can your friends' opinions make or break a budding relationship? You want the answer to be no. You are your own person. You know what's best for you and what you want in a relationship and you're not afraid to go and get it, no matter what your friends say.
Going against a tribunal of your closest friends who think he or she isn't "the one" isn't easy, however. While we all may like to think of ourselves as unflappably independent -- we aren't. Our friends are our supporting cast and the sitcom of our lives doesn't play without them. And -- to continue this television metaphor just a step too far -- most of the time the lovers that come into our lives are merely guest stars.
When your friends don't like the person you "like like" things get awkward. It's hard for them to offer advice when they wouldn't advise you to be with her in the first place. It's hard for them to cheer on a relationship with him that puts stress on their friendship with you.
When friends give two thumbs down, it's rare that the relationship develops into a smash hit or that you sign on for another season. But like most cancelled TV shows (save "Family Guy" -- big oops on that one, Fox), it's probably for the best. If they're good friends, your friends know you. Their instincts, while not infallible, are perhaps more trustworthy than your own love-or-lust-colored dreams -- they are at least worth your serious consideration.
Megan and Meghan's column runs bi-weekly on Tuesdays. They can be reached at fanale@cavalierdaily.com and moran@cavalierdaily.com.
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