How many times has this happened to you? You're walking to class, taking your time, with no particular reason to rush. Your life is as stress-free as you can expect at U.Va. Suddenly, you notice a door and everything gets complicated.
You immediately take stock of your surroundings, running through a list of key questions.
How many people are around you? How many in front? How many in back? How close is the nearest person? How close is that person to the door? How close are you to the door?
Oh no, someone's going in. He looks back. A number of questions now run through his head. How far back is that guy? Has he noticed that I noticed him? If I let go of the door right now, would it close before he got here? He decides to hold it open.
You're still 15 feet back, and now you've got this guy holding the door for you. Now you can't just meander forward. You've got to relieve him of his post!
Quickly, you do the half-jog to the door, awkwardly thanking the Good Samaritan as he gives you the head nod and continues forward. Now you're within 10 feet of him. How long before the next door appears and you have to run this routine all over again?
Now I appreciate the courtesy of holding a door just as much as the next guy, who doesn't appreciate it at all, but does anyone else feel this whole act is a little bit more complicated than just grabbing a handle and pulling?
Coming from the West, I have a somewhat unique perspective on the door-holding phenomena because out west, WE DON'T DO IT!
Let me explain my take on the history of this cultural development. The East was settled by pilgrims who came together on ships. They came as religious groups, companies and even convicts, with the goal of building a habitat for their community in the new world. The key word here is "community." When the East was settled, the settler communities already existed. As towns were built, each person depended on the other for support and assistance, and status in the group was an essential concern.
Compare that with the West. The West was settled by individuals. They set out with nothing but a few belongings, transportation and perhaps their families. When they arrived, they built self-sustaining ranches or became entrepreneurs, each man carving his own niche. Communities were secondary, if they developed at all.
Today we have communities in the West, and they are important, but we continue to be individualistic where doorways are concerned.
We may have realized that we can't do everything on our own, but one thing we can do by ourselves is open a damn door. And we do, almost exclusively.
Sure, there are a few exceptions. If someone is coming in directly behind you, you may delay the closing long enough to ensure they are not hit in the face. You may also try to score some points with an especially attractive girl by saving her from the significant effort it takes to pull that handle. It's a rare enough occurrence that she might even appreciate it.
Here the opposite is true. The expectation is that you hold the door. If you don't, you will inevitably find someone looking at you like you just stepped on a kitten. This has us all so afraid of letting the door go that we may stand there for a full minute simply to avoid whatever implications may follow from inaction.
But the tradition has not yet become a rule. It is still technically a courtesy, which is why we all feel a need to acknowledge the efforts of our door-holder. It's not okay to continue at your normal pace in the presence of a holder. Clearly, the man is being crushed under the pressure of this wooden slab, and it is your duty to make his shift as short as possible, thanking him graciously when you finally cross the threshold.
Sure, the hold is a nice gesture, but I'm beginning to think it's just more trouble than its worth.
Maybe I'm anti-social, maybe my feelings are just a product of being raised in the West, or maybe I'm right.
In order to find out, I'm bringing the western system here, starting today. If you are following behind me, I'll hold the door if you're within five feet. Otherwise, it's closing. You have two hands; you can deal with it.
I encourage the rest of you to cast off the shackles of your Puritan ancestors. These are the same people who burned witches! They weren't right about everything. It's time to move on. Forget "after you." This time, I'll go first.
Dan Strong's column runs bi-weekly on Mondays. He can be reached at danstrong@cavalierdaily.com.
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