I'm very much looking forward to the day in the Seinfeld-predicted future wherehumanity sheds its notions of fashion and adopts the one-piece jumpsuit uniform as the intergalactic standard. The convenience factor is just awe-inspiring. You never have to worry about coordinating, you're never over- or under-dressed -- it's simply glorious. But until then, I guess I have to make do with my full-body zip-up pajamas. Does "full body" include feet with plastic grips on the bottom? Oh, you bet it does. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle print is optional.
A recent survey of institutions of higher education shows that the University's female population is significantly larger than its male population. Upon hearing this news, the E-School let out a collective, "Pardon?"
I love Family Weekend. It allows everyone to see that, yes, we're all still quite awkward around our parents in public; no, our tour-giving skills need much refinement; and yes, your parents were expecting you to have something more planned for them to do.And yes, your dad left work early for this?
One downside of Family Weekend: It caused a significant curbing of my habit of yelling, "College! No parents!" at inappropriate times.
Monday The Cavalier Daily reported that Budweiser would stop using its promotion of the game 'Bud Pong' "after learning that some who took part in the promotion were using beer rather than water to play the game." Someone used BEER in a game of "Bud Pong"?! OUTRAGEOUS! Who could have foreseen this unthinkable turn of events! Shame on you, college students, for sullying the sober and jovial name of "Bud Pong." Shame on you, sirs. I bid you good day.
One week I'd like to write an entire column in OC-speak. The Life editors think it's a bad idea. But please ... It's obvi, they're so jel of my lang skills.
Last week Gov. Mark R. Warner graced Grounds with his presence when he visited U.Va. to give the speech at the Class of 2007's Ring Ceremony. In a related story, don't you have a Commonwealth to run? I think with the upcoming election indicating the end of his time in Richmond, Mr. Warner's caught a severe case of gubernatorial senioritis.
If I lived in Atlanta I would call it Hotlanta. Every day. It both lets people know where I'm from and how hot [temperature-wise or measured in sexiness] the city is. I think more metropoli should take advantage of this time-saving verbal technique. We could have the state of Halabama; HHouston, Texas; or Horlando, Florida.
Maybe not 'Horlando.' Or 'Harlottesville.'
The FCC announced that it's requiring all Universities to make it easier for the government to do online surveillance of students' activities on the Internet. It's a great idea, mainly because I get a kick out of the mental image of some federal agent sitting in a basement outside of D.C., reading the same AIM profiles I'm reading. "IMChaos link?! Abort mission, we've been detected."
It would not surprise me in the slightest if it turned out that Chuck E. Cheese's was just a front for an international youth gambling consortium. I know I spent many an hour of my childhood there. So many tokens for so few poorly designed foam airplanes and fake mustaches.
Dear Greenberry's,
Please. The gig is up. Last time I checked, the closest thing we have to a "green berry" was called a "grape."
Sincerely,
Eric "The snozzberries taste like snozzberries" Cunningham
P.S.One possible exception would, of course, be a miniature lime.
Eric's column runs weekly on Wednesdays. He can be reached at cunningham@cavalierdaily.com.
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