Well, Fall Break is over, everyone's back from their hometowns and we never have to be reminded of how awkward we were in high school again -- until we go back for Thanksgiving.
Last Wednesday the University announced three student nominees for the Rhodes Scholarship program in an effort to allow these students to continue research projects in a post-graduate setting. On a related note, I guess the selections committee didn't think my thesis, "From Chips Ahoy! to Cap'n Crunch: America's Obsession with Nautical-Themed Foods," was Oxford material. So close to getting paid to study deliciousness.
Some of you may have heard that this weekend marked the "World Beard and Moustaches Championship" in Berlin. Unfortunately for yours truly, in the four weeks between registration and the actual competition, I was unable to grow any noticeable beard or mustache. Oh, "General Burnside Award for Facial Excellence," you've eluded me again.
So according to weather.com, there's a slight chance it may rain on the concert in Scott Stadium tomorrow. On the slim chance that this does occur, let me flat-out stake my claim right now to the pun "Rolling Storms." I'm copyrighting it. It's done. If I see that pun used in any comic or caption to a photo, or other manifestation of humor, you owe me fifty dollars. That's how copyrighting works.
No, that was a lie. I have no idea how copyrighting works. But if my addiction to legal statements before movies is any help in this case, I'm pretty sure the FBI is involved in some capacity. And pirates, as is my understanding.
Awkward moment of the week:
Being at a stoplight in my car and getting caught by a neighboring motorist singing "This shhh- is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S" [Oh yes, complete with finger over the mouth during the "shhh"]. And of course we continue at the stoplight for another good two minutes with me avoiding the judging stare of this stranger, or as he's also known: society.
Dear Kenan Thompson,
First off: A belated "Congrats!" on getting hired by "Saturday Night Live." Your roles are a good mix of impressions and well-written sketch comedy. Now that you've made a name for yourself, how about remembering how you got there? I'm of course referring to your counterpart, a certain Mr. Kel Mitchell. Share the success. Really, WWPED?
Sincerely,
Eric Cunningham
P.S. In case you've forgotten your "All That" days, PE = Pierre Escargot, the raincoat-garbed, bathtub-dwelling French citizen.
P.P.S. And if you could at some point squeeze in the line, "Fresh out the box! Stop, look and watch! Ready yet? Get set! It's 'All That!'" into an SNL episode, I'd love you forever.
You know what, while we're on the topic, let's go for a Two-for Tuesday. Or, I guess a Wrantful Wednesday. The 'W' is silent.
Dear Nickelodeon,
Seriously, what happened, man? You used to be cool. Bring back "Global Guts." Am I the only one who would cheer for the nations most historically allied with the United States in major conflicts? Russia: thumbs down, Cold War. France: thumbs up, World War II. Britain: a toss-up. A controversial call, you say? I present my reasoning: Points for World War II, but I'm not feeling the whole colonial tyranny thing. In any case, bring back the "Pete & Pete," the "What Would You Do?" and the "Are You Afraid of the Dark?" We miss them.
Sincerely,
Eric Cunningham
P.S. "Spongebob" can stay.
Eric's column runs weekly on Wednesdays. He can be reached at cunningham@cavalierdaily.com.
Read More
Students brave the cold for a whirlwind sorority rush
By Mia Tan | YesterdayStudents recount a mix of emotions from rush, with some disappointed after dropping from the recruitment process and others ecstatic to join Greek life.
Top 10 ways to avoid burnout this semester
By Sam Saks | 2 days agoAs you settle into this semester, try implementing these 10 tactics to take care of yourself and wave goodbye to burnout.
Top 10 things I learned the day TikTok went dark
By Elizabeth Parsons | 4 days agoI am poised to bestow newfound pieces of wisdom from my short-lived TikTok detox.
