International affairs. Spy stories. Worldwide conspiracies and intrigues. James Bond. And occasionally, Carmen Sandiego. Everyone loves those sexy tales of multi-national machinations (and women in red fedoras ... sexy).
Whether you're in a hostel in Kiev or a farm in Carolina, you can't deny the lure of kicking some Commie ass -- or at the very least, speaking with a British accent and wearing designer tuxes.
The idea of someone from a farm in Carolina arriving at a hostel in Kiev in a tux and red fedora while speaking with a British accent is a particularly appealing one. Kudos goes to Daniel Pike for coming up with that sentence and ironically fitting all the criteria.
You can play a whole lot of games ("Golden Eye" and "Carmen Sandiego") and watch a whole lot of movies ("Golden Eye" and "The Lady in Red") to get close to that euphoric sense of worldly importance, but many know a better way. I am, of course, referring to Model U.N.
Just this past weekend, around 600 high schoolers descended on U.Va. with binders of U.N. statistics, lunch money for the Pav, more pubescent hormones than the complete "Babysitters Club" anthology and several red fedoras. I'm sure all of you were simultaneously fascinated and pissed off by the long lines of Larisas, Tricias and Zeldas outside your favorite Corner restaurant this weekend. Who are these people? Why are they so excited to be discussing foreign diplomacy? Does it smell like hormones in here? What's with all these damn fedoras?
Perhaps I can answer your questions. You see, I have been a Model U.N. "aficionado" (Italian for nerd) for many years and am quite used to being an object of envy, fascination and general bullyragging. Much of these students' motivation comes from a genuine wish to change the world in a positive way, which is adorably depressing; in a few years they will learn how the world does not allow for positive change. On the happier side of things, part of their motivation is about dressing up all nice and pretty, and the world of fashion never ceases to change for the better. Especially hats -- of the fedora variety.
So what's it like during these weekends of fake diplomacy and veiled competition? On account of being both a college staffer and participant in high school Model U.N., I can offer you both perspectives in a day-by-day account, which I like to call "That's MUN-ey Baby." Yeah, Swingers. Money baby.
Alright, on to Day 1, opening ceremonies:
High Schooler's thoughts: Oh boy, this Old Cabell Hall is really impressive. Golly gee willikers, I sure hope I did enough research; representing the Republic of Korea can be tricky. Oh, here comes the opening speaker -- I better listen attentively.
College Staffer's thoughts: I need to stop drinking before these things. Is that a fedora? WTF?
Day 1, First Committee Session:
High Schooler: Okay, so let's see, we have a couple guys in the back; if I act cool enough I can get them to sign my resolutions and get a bunch of free votes. My only competition seems to be Fiji, and they don't even have a bloc position. All I have to do is make sure the U.S. continues to blunder through committee, and I should get first.
College Staffer: Damn this headache. Why won't that kid representing Korea shut up? Oh, someone passed up another note. Let's see ... "You're cute, want to cross my borders?
Read More
Students brave the cold for a whirlwind sorority rush
By Mia Tan | YesterdayStudents recount a mix of emotions from rush, with some disappointed after dropping from the recruitment process and others ecstatic to join Greek life.
Top 10 ways to avoid burnout this semester
By Sam Saks | 2 days agoAs you settle into this semester, try implementing these 10 tactics to take care of yourself and wave goodbye to burnout.
Top 10 things I learned the day TikTok went dark
By Elizabeth Parsons | 4 days agoI am poised to bestow newfound pieces of wisdom from my short-lived TikTok detox.
