As many of you know, the NBA has enforced a new dress code, which requires players to wear business or business casual attire whenever they are engaged in a team-related activity -- except when they are actually playing basketball, of course. However, whenever the players are not on the court, they must abide by these rules.
There have been many protests about the new dress code. Players such as Stephen Jackson and Jason Richardson have called the new rule racist. Some athletes have criticized the new dress code for more than its racial implications; Tim Duncan has simply called it "a load of crap." All these players, as well as many analysts, make strong arguments for their beliefs (I even heard the actual document containing the new NBA dress code emits a strong, feces-like odor.)
With all the outrage, clearly there will be protests. While many players probably plan on overtly defying the rules, I propose a different option. Not abiding by the dress code will only incur a fine and hardly get your point across, nor is it any fun for the casual fan or "SportsCenter" viewer. However, following the NBA dress code by creatively adding traces of your past attire that still fulfill the requirements of the code is brilliant. So, Mr. Jackson, Mr. Richardson and Mr. Duncan, I hope you are reading, because I am about to propose some original and fun ways to beat the dress code.
Ironically, one of the articles of clothing that was banned -- which also seems to be a player favorite -- is the jersey. Players often used to wear other NBA players' jerseys, throwbacks, or even other sports' jerseys. Why let a little rule stand in the way of this precedent though? The NBA states that a player must wear a sport coat when attending a game in which he is not playing. However, the NBA does not specify what type of material this sport coat must consist of. Surely there are some businesses that can customize a sport coat of, let's say, a Chris Mullin throwback for Jason Richardson to wear before his next game ... just a suggestion. Just like that, jerseys can once again gain free reign -- in modified form of course.
Another pesky trend NBA Commissioner David Stern chose to eliminate was players displaying their sparkling chains on top of their throwbacks in interviews. This problem is seemingly solved by the rule that players cannot wear visible chains, medallions, pendants or basically any form of bling. Yet again, however, this rule can be avoided. Obviously Stern would not reject -- in fact, he probably would prefer it -- if a player wears a suit. In wearing a suit, a player must wear a tie, which conveniently hangs in the exact same place a chain would. Yes, I'm saying it: NBA players, bling out your ties! Actually, take it a step further -- why not make a tie out of only platinum and diamonds? That would be truly glorious.
Think of the possibilities: There could be a player walking in for an interview in Timberland boots, jeans, a five-button suit coat stitched together out of a "Tiny" Nate Archibald throwback and a tie featuring matching black diamonds. How deliciously awful.
So, when you see Allen Iverson rocking a sweet Pistol Pete Maravich throwback suit or Rasheed Wallace strapping his championship belt around his waste while wearing a canary yellow diamond and white gold tie that is undoubtedly priced upwards of three hundred grand, you can thank Commissioner Stern for creating this debauchery of fashion in attempts to eradicate hip-hop culture from basketball.
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